Finding Yourself Again

Chapter 12

Tour seemed to continue to fly for Brendon, Spencer and everyone else involved with the band. They were down to only a week left, which meant in four more days, they'd be rolling into NYC. Brendon was excited but nervous, an unknown anxiety filling his belly.

After Brendon's scary near-assault experience, he and Ryan started texting and talking on the phone daily. Brendon couldn't get over the comfort and familiarity that talking to Ryan again brought. Ryan's voice was always soothing and relaxing to him, and things just made more sense in his life when he got to share them with Ryan. Ryan just felt like home. He quickly grew to feel like he needed to talk to Ryan every day. and true to his word, it didn't matter what time it was or where Ryan was at: communication from Brendon was always welcome.

Spencer being Spencer, observed all this over the weeks quietly from the sidelines. He knew Brendon was in love with Ryan again (had he ever really not been in the first place?) but hadn't come to the point where his brain and heart had connected on it yet. Ryan on the other hand, Spencer knew, couldn't be more clear on what he was feeling, but he was being patient with Brendon, trying to give him whatever time and space he needed to figure it out.

Except as always, time isn't infinite, and they were growing ever closer to arriving in New York. Even though he wasn't saying it, Spencer could sense that Ryan felt anxious and slightly hurt that Brendon hadn't talked to him about whether they'd actually see each other when the band arrived in town or not. He knew Ryan wanted that more than anything but that he'd never push the issue or impose himself on Brendon.

That's when Spencer decided to intervene, because time was going to run out, and frankly,
Spencer couldn't bear to see the two apart any longer. They now were not only good together, they belonged together.

—-

That night after their show, they had a reasonably early bus call so they could head out from Boston to Philadelphia, their next to last stop on the tour. Spencer quietly tipped off Dallon and Mike that he wanted to have a private, personal chat with Brendon, so they stayed to the back lounge of the bus so Spencer could have privacy with Brendon in the front.

As Spencer anticipated, after they'd been rolling a few minutes and he'd gotten his things settled back around his bunk, Brendon wandered into the kitchen area to get a snack. He was typically ravenous after a show because of all the energy he expended on stage, so Spencer knew he'd be coming in to find food.

"Hey Bren," Spencer called, "once you get your food, come sit with me. We should talk New York plans, because I need to call Jon about it tomorrow." Spencer was gonna start this casually and lead into his main point. He knew he'd get nowhere just asking him about Ryan straight up when it was this heavy of a conversation.

"Ok, coming!" Brendon called as he rounded up his turkey sandwich and Lightly Salted Lays - his favorites. "Alright, dude...what were you thinking?"

"Well, I was thinking that the day we get into town, we can meet them out for dinner that evening since we have free time that whole
night, and then we can plan to do something with them after."

Brendon nodded. "Yeah, that's perfect."

"Then I thought that we'd have them to the show, of course. Backstage passes so they can be in the dressing room with us and side stage for the shows."

"That also sounds good," Brendon agreed.

Spencer then started easing in the direction he wanted the conversation to go, "Okay...so...were you gonna invite Ryan to come with us?"

Brendon blinked at Spencer innocently, but Spencer wasn't buying it. "Huh. I hadn't thought about it."

Spencer shot Brendon a disbelieving look and said simply, "Bullshit. You talk to him every single day. It's clear you think about him quite a lot, so I find it pretty impossible to believe you haven't thought about seeing him while we're in town."