Finding Yourself Again

Chapter 19

  The boys left Jon and Cassie's house early the next morning, well before the sun rose. They wanted to get out of the city before the workday traffic really got started, and they headed east toward Pennsylvania.

  The trip was 30 hours of driving time, so since they weren't in a huge hurry, the boys planned to spend 3-4 days getting to LA. They would take turns driving, enjoy chatting about anything that came to mind, and stop to eat or when they felt like they needed a break. Brendon couldn't help but draw the comparison between this trip with Ryan, and when he drove to LA the first time, on his own. When he made the trip solo, he'd been lonely, heartbroken, and determined to start over fresh. This time, he had a husband he loved, who so obviously loved him back, and they were headed toward a future they were both looking forward to. He felt so intensely grateful for the turn his life had taken.

  To minimize the prospect of being spotted by fans, they decided they wouldn't spend the night in big cities, but just make stops at smaller towns along the way. They drove until they got tired of it each day, then found a decent, comfortable looking hotel and stayed the night.

  To sort of embrace the road trip spirit, they didn't try to go to any super nice restaurants, either. They'd eat in local diners or grab fast food, again with the thought of trying to be sort of incognito. Sometimes they'd just take their dinner to their room to eat.

  It was the 3rd night that they'd been traveling, and they were settling in for the evening. They were on the outskirts of Las Vegas, and only had just a few more hours to drive the next day, and they would make it to Spencer's. They had taken their evening showers (separately, because they were tired and wanted to move quickly), and were snuggled together in bed. That seemed to be their nightly ritual: to spend some time just connecting physically through that innocent touch each day.

  "Babe?" Ryan said, looking to get Brendon's attention from the mindless television they were watching.

  "Yeah, honey? What's up?"

  "I need to ask you for help with something. When we get started back with the band, I need you to sort of look out for me and help me get to grips with the writing and recording process, and especially how everything goes when we tour. You've already been through it once and know what to expect, but I have very little idea about how things go. I'm so glad to be doing it, and I'm looking forward to it...I just don't want to do anything to mess up your band."

  Brendon turned sideways slightly and took Ryan's hand. He lifted it to his lips and kissed his knuckles, then cradled that hand with both of his. "Baby, listen to me. I'll always help you with anything you need, every step of the way. But you've got one thing wrong: this isn't my band. It's our band. The minute you and Jon said you wanted to join up, that band became the four of us. Yeah, I was in it from the start with Spence, and yes, I'm the frontman, but we don't function without you guys. Which is an interesting coincidence, because I don't function well without you in general."

  Ryan smiled lovingly and squeezed Brendon's hand, and Brendon continued.

  "So make sure you think of it as our band from now on, ok? I know you: you're smart and you take pride in the things you do. I can't imagine what you could possibly do to mess up our band. We clear?" Brendon gave Ryan a mock stern glance.

  Ryan chuckled. "Yes, sir. Do I need to be punished now?" He said with wide eyes and a faux innocent look.

  Brendon gave him an evil grin. "Yes, I may need to teach you a lesson." They both laughed as they leaned in to kiss each other.

—-

  "Oh thank God we're here!" Ryan said as they pulled into Spencer's driveway.

  Brendon had to laugh. "I remember thinking that exact thing when I moved out here! Seems that drive is enough to make you never want to do it again."