A Deceitful Wonderland

chapter 17 remembering

Why do demons interfere with mortals?

Is it because its fun? For amusement? Is it because its just what they're there for? Do they not know why either? Or is it because we're just easy targets?

Osomatsu sure as hell didn't know. As far as he knew, it could be for all of those reasons or none of them.

With everything that's happened, he'd at least like to know why...he was born like this.

Ever since he was a child...it was there. Cursed since birth to have that thing attached to him.

That demon. Every where he went, Everything he did. It was always there.

He's tried to get rid of it. Exorcisms, rituals, anything. But its always still there, almost as if it was a part of him, something he couldn't get rid of.

He didn't want to believe that. He wanted some way, any way to get rid of it bit it remained.

He tried his best to suppress it, to keep it from getting out but.. Sometimes he couldn't.

And Karamatsu...oh god Karamatsu. He didn't wanna let this thing hurt his younger brother.

But it happened anyway.

___________________________________

Osomatsu sat outside, a feeling of nostalgia came over him. He was remembering his real brother. Karamatsu..his baby brother

He frowned as if he didn't want to remember. He felt sick remembering. Its not like he didn't know that how he treated his brother was wrong.

It disgusted him to know that every time his brother cried, every time his brother felt depressed, every time his brother just broke down.. It was because of him.

Osomatsu stood up, opening his front door and walking inside. For some reason he felt he had remember.

He walked down the hallway and up the stairs, looking at each door until his eyes landed on an old door, untouched in several years.

Karamatsu's room.

He reached his hand out towards the door knob but jerked his hand back as if the door was made of fire.

Should he really do this?

He paused, pondering everything that's happened up until this point.

Finally he took a deep breath and opened the door. He stepped inside, feeling a weight on his chest.

He looked over to the desk, finding an unorganized mess of paints, jars, and paint brushes of different sizes.

Osomatsu smiled with a tinge of sadness on his face. He inhaled a deep breath. Karamatsu's room always smelled like lavender.

Osomatsu's eyes landed on the guitar in the corner of the room, next to it, a cluster of papers. Those were songs that he wrote.

Osomatsu looked up, scanning the walls. The entire room was covered wall to wall in paintings. Osomatsu had nowhere near enough talent to recreate that.

He had to admit, his brother was really creative.

Osomatsu then made his way over to the book shelf, scanning through all the different books until he found a small stack of photos next to a Polaroid camera.

He felt a the weight in his chest get heavier but he picked up the photos anyway.

He smiled as he looked through them. Most of them were just goofy photos of Kara and that damn cat together.

Kara loved Ichi. Oso on the other hand could never get him to shut the hell up.

Osomatsu was about to look at other things when he felt his foot brush against something.

He looked down to find something sticking out from under the bed.

He slowly pulled it out, quickly realizing what it was. His eyes widened and He felt a pang of guilt as his chest tightened.

It was a ripped canvas. The painting on it was of a black cat with deep purple eyes. The artwork was unfortunately destroyed.

There were other ones similar to it. They were broken and destroyed. There were at least seven under there. Its a shame really. All that hard work and effort put to waste.

Do you know why?

Yep, again that was Osomatsu's fault. Karamatsu had spent a week painting all of those. Painting was something he really enjoyed doing. He thinks that it calmed him down too.

And Osomatsu destroyed them in a blind rage. He didn't know what he was doing. He can never control that thing until its too late.

He remembered the look on his brother's face. It was a look full of devastation.

He remembered the tears rolling down his face as he desperately tried to salvage what was left of his paintings.

He remembered his little brother yelling and asking him "why would you do that!?"

The truth is that he didn't know why. He didn't know why after all those years of putting up with that hellish entity inside him, he still couldn't keep it from hurting others.

He didn't know why he was born with that thing in the first place. All he knew is that every time he lets it get control, Karamatsu ended up suffering for it.

He remembered all the times he locked his brother in that dark, cramped room. He remembered all the times he had belittled him, making him feel small.

He remembered all the times Karamatsu tried to get him to listen to him at the very least but was ignored anyway.

He remembered how Karamatsu had constant panic attacks because of him

He wanted to protect his brother from himself. He wanted to get rid of that thing. He never wanted to hurt his brother again.. But he couldn't.

As long as that demonic entity was still a part of him, it just wasn't happening. But he hated being alone...

It was a sick and twisted contradiction. He's his own enemy and he only ever loses to himself.

Just thinking about it made him sick to the stomach. As far as he knew, death was his only release from that demon. He needed a way out of this.

Was there any way out of it? Was there any chance for him to escape this?

Ah now he knows why he didn't want to remember anything.