Boulevard Dreamer (Ryden)

-forty~three-

zneedszleep

can i just say how proud of you i am?

so
dallon proposed to brendon

ryan..
off to the pet shelter again?

maybe
i'm not sure yet because brendon didn't give him an answer
because i kissed him
but he doesn't want me to feel anything for him
now what am i supposed to make of that?

okay ryan i know you're new to your own sexuality
but i know you're smarter than this
think about it
you kissed him
he didn't give his boyfriend an answer when his boyfriend /of three years/ asked him to marry him
he doesn't want you to like him bc if you don't he has an easy way out

out of what?

any doubts he might have about dallon
if he doesn't address them (you) then he can get married and live happily ever after
funny thing about having feels for someone
if you're with someone but you feel something for someone different
you don't love the person you're with
if you did
the other person never would've mattered
god ryan come on at least pretend like you've been here before

the thing is: i haven't
this is all new territory for me

please
you're telling me you've never thought about another guy before brendon?
drunk hookups count

they do not
who counts those?

in vino veritas

wine is for teenagers who think their parents won't notice they switched out the sparking grape juice on new year's

experienced in the field?

one could say
though, with time, i think i'm a little above fermented grape juice

sure

ouch

anyway
got an answer?

maybe once or twice before i knew you
maybe

we've known each other since preschool

okay, you know what i meant

i always do
i just like teasing you

so i'm in a dilemma that's pretty much on you
and you're teasing me?

look at it like this
you could've just kissed me
but you drove across town to specifically brendon urie's house to kiss him
if you didn't like him already, you never would've done that