nineteen

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stop pretending that
you’re safe and sound

stop pretending that you’re safe and sound

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"Where are we going?"

A knife-like smile flashed across Jennie's lips, momentary and sudden. It was gone so quick that I wondered if I had imagined it. "Initiation."

I frowned, glancing over at the couple cars that were cruising in the driveway of the long line of garages. "The races are back on?"

"In a way," She said, following my gaze to the trail. "We've all been waiting for this, for long enough."

Her words left me feeling exposed, the cold wind biting into my skin feel even colder. I pulled my jacket closer over my chest, closing off the junction of my earlier open collarbones. "Because of me?"

She laughed, a dry, humourless laugh. "It's been a long time since we've let a new one in for this kind of thing. As an added liability."

"So I'm a liability."

"And an asset, too, in many ways," Her wistful tone gave away nothing. "I admit you haven't shown up in the most favourable conditions, but we needed you."

My eyes flickered to her face, soft and glowing warmly in the headlights. "You need me?"

Her nonchalant expression faltered momentarily, cracks appearing in her carefully carved mask, gilded by the touch of indifference. "I'm sure the boys agree," Her expression smoothed over just as soon, but my eyes searched for any hint of plaster dust.

The way she had chosen to cover up her slip-up was, I guess, impressive, and her voice didn't sound like she was really lying.

Before I could speak, though, a smiling Vernon joined our less than conversational troupe. "What are you girls talking about?" He ruffled his hair a little as he looked at me, apparently oblivious to what had just taken place.

"Just a little curious about what's happening," I shrugged.

Jennie's mouth twitched. "Story of your life."

"I have to agree on that one," Jinyoung's slightly lilting voice jumped in. He winked at me when I glanced over at him. "I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one eager to show her all of what she's been asking for."

Vernon laughed, and my minue frown deepened. "We're ready to go."

I blinked, realising that it was far from just a few of us anymore. Around the lone table, around seven to eight racers were gathered, all of them seemingly part of the conversation so intent on bringing me into the unwanted limelight.

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