My Father's Daughter

Twenty-One

"You're sure you want to do this?" Vic asked me again. I nodded and rolled the pill around in my palm with my thumb. "Okay, because you know if you don't, I'm going to help you. You're not going to be alone with this." I shook my head.

"I don't want it." I said. Vic nodded and put a hand on my back. I looked up at him sitting beside me on my bed. He gave me a reassuring smile and I looked back down at the white pill in my hand. The pill that would kill what was growing in my stomach. I cringed at the thought of it being part of that man. He did this to me. Now I'm going to end it.

I threw back the pill and swallowed it quickly, not wanting the chalky taste residing in my mouth. Vic handed me a glass of water and I took a few sips before handing it back to him. He put it on my nightstand and wrapped his arms around me, kissing the side of my head. I leaned my head on his shoulder and sighed.

"You know it's going to hurt right? The doctor said you'd have bad cramps for a while." I shook my head.

"I don't care. It doesn't matter anymore." Vic nodded and squeezed my hand. I was so thankful. This whole thing would finally be over and I could stop thinking about it. I sat there with Vic for a few minutes before I had the idea to fall asleep before I felt the cramps. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna go to sleep." I told Vic. He nodded.

"Okay. Call if you need me. Unless you want me to stay?" He asked. I shook my head. I had bothered him enough for today. "Alright, but if you need anything--"

"I know." I said. He smiled and got up to leave. I laid down and closed my eyes falling asleep quickly.

I snapped my eyes open and doubled over in bed. I clutched my stomach and screamed into my pillow. It felt like someone was ripping my stomach out. The bed creaked as I tossed around, attempting to find a position which relieved some of the pain. I ended up kicking off the blankets and falling on the floor. My feet were still up on my bed, but I was lying on my back.

"Ugh..." I groaned. My bedroom door opened and Vic came in with a concerned expression.

"Audrey, are you alright?" He asked as he walked towards my bed and stood over me. I shook my head.

"Cramps..." I said. Vic sat on my bed next to my feet and reached out his hand.

"Come here?"

"No! This feels better..." I told him. He sighed and dropped on the floor next to me, assuming the same position I was in. He took my bandaged hand and slipped his other arm under my head like a pillow.

"Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want water or something to eat?" He asked. I looked up at him. His eyebrows were stitched together and raised to meet at a point. His mouth was slightly agape and his eyes were wide. I knew he felt guilty about this happening. It wasn't his fault, and I could never blame him for it, I wished he knew that.

"Can I take Advil or something?" I asked, desperate for anything to assuage the pain. He sighed and shook his head.

"The doctor was hesitant to give you the meds you got since you're only fifteen. She really didn't want you mixing it with anything. I'm sorry." I shook my head.

"It's okay. I don't need anything." I shut my eyes again trying to ignore the feeling in my stomach. Vic squeezed my hand tighter and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"What's this?" Vic asked. Her lifted the charm on my necklace--the one my mom gave me--and flipped it in his hands.

"Mom's necklace." I said trying not to seethe in pain. It was a small silver heart with jewels encrusted in it. Vic chuckled. "What?" I asked.

"I gave that to your mother in high school."

"You did?" He nodded.

"Yeah, just before we broke up. I never thought she'd kept it."

"She loved it. She gave it to me when I turned ten and told me she was just holding it until I was old enough for her to trust me not to lose it." I told him. He looked back at me and grinned.

"It was always meant for you." Vic said, smiling. I leaned back on his shoulder.

"Dad? Why didn't Mom want me to talk to you?"

"I never told you what happened, did I?" I shook my head. "Well, your mom and I dated in high school, but we broke up. I went on our first tour and when I got back, we had been gone about nine months. When you were born, she called me from the hospital and told me that she had you. When I got there, she told me that I didn't have to be involved; that she really just didn't want me involved. She said that she wanted you to find your way in the world, to have a name for yourself, instead of just being known as my daughter. So, she told me to leave and had been sending me pictures and information about you ever since."

I never knew why Mom didn't tell me who Dad was. It always annoyed me but I felt bad to ask. I figured they either broke up or something had happened to him. That's what happened with my step-dad. Mom got remarried after she had me, and had my little brother. But my step-dad died a few years ago. I never really liked him.

"Audrey, I need you to understand that I always wanted to keep in contact with you. It broke my heart when your mom told me I couldn't. I've always loved you so much, I hate that I missed out on so much of your life. I've thought about you everyday since you were born and I--"

"I know, Dad." I cut him off. "I'm not mad about that, I get it. I love you too." He kissed the top of my head and smiled. Vic ran his thumb along my hand. He turned my arm over and looked at the blood that had soaked through the wrappings.

"I have to change your bandages." He said. He took his arm out from under my neck and got up. He returned a minute later with gauze and tape. I stretched out my arm for him to rewrap. "Does your stomach still hurt?" He asked.

"Yeah." I groaned remembering the pain. I cringed as my position was no longer comfortable. I yawned and stretched.

"Want to try to get more sleep?" Vic asked. I nodded and he scooped me up and laid me down on my bed. He tucked the covers in around me and kissed the side of my head. "I love you Audrey." He whispered. I mumbled something back before falling asleep.