Who Would I Be Without You? //Ben Cook fanfic// *FINISHED*

Twenty-One: Illusions and Dellusions

A/N: Thanks for all your kind words everyone! I'm so happy you have enjoyed the story so far! Just so you know, it will get quite dark in this chapter, so if you are sensitive to substance abuse, death or vivid hallucinations whilst taking drugs, this is a warning and you can skip past those parts if you so please, and with that said, enjoy Chapter 21!

After a few more songs and requests, people begin parting and entering their makeshift homes and tents. 

Melina stands, folding up her chair, Alejandro and Adrian following suite. I stand as well, folding and passing the chair to Adrian. "Thanks for a pretty cool night guys, I'll see you round..." I smile sadly, strapping my bag back on my back and beginning to walk away.

Melina jogged after me, grabbing my arm. "No way are you leaving yet!" She exclaims. "do you even have anywhere to go?" She asks and I shake my head no.

Melina huffed out a long breath and wrapped her arm around me, "c'mon, you can stay the night and we'll help you find somewhere in the morning."

I try to politely decline, confessing that they're already done more than enough for me but the insisted sincerely.I sigh, feeling too tired and emotionally drained to fight them and sit down on the old leather armchair. "Sorry it's just a leather chair," Alejandro says apologetically. "We had a leather couch at one point but a family of four began sleeping rough here, so we gave it to them in exchange for the chair."

I shake me head. "Please don't apologise on my account, you're kind enough to let me stay here, let alone sleep on your furniture and eat your food."

Adrian pulls a small leather next on the chair and the bottom of the chair pulls out and reclines. "Good thing it's a recliner!" He smiles, Melina passing me a blanket and pillow.

Alejandro lit up another roll up and took a drag, passing it to Adrian before producing a small plastic bag out of his pocket. "Check out what I scored." He smirks, holding up the bag for everyone to see.

In the bag are tiny multi-coloured pills, both round and oval shaped and I can't help but stare wide eyed at the bag. "Is that..." I begin, but Alejandro finishes for me.

"Ecstasy, got them from Mr. Ben a few tents down, only charged me 3 bucks!" He said giddily, opening up the bag and taking one of the pills out and popping it in his mouth before passing it to Adrian.

The pills are passed around until they're finally handed to me. "Oh, umm...." I trail off, suddenly feeling the knot that had already been forming in my stomach tighten and twist ever so slightly.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, the buzz is dope though." Melina tells me, about to put the bag on the table but not before I say. "Wait!"

I think about everything that's been going on for the last few ours the last few months and even years of my life. Things have gone a little upside down...who am I kidding?! The shit has well and truly hit the fan! I am emotionally drained, mentally exhausted and need a little break from the bullshit I've had to put up with the last few days.

"I'll give it a try." I say, holding my hand out to which Melina complies graciously with a tiny red pill that I put on my tongue and lean back, feeling the tiny, disgustingly bitter and sour pill dissolve on my tongue.

~*~

I stare up at the ceiling in a daze. swirls of colours and shapes spin around me, making the whole room appear as if it were a Vincent van Gogh painting. I look down at my hands and they begin to morph, twist and bend in unnatural ways and I can't help but let out a small, echoed chuckle, smiling wide as I wave my hands around, making them bend and swirl through the air even more than what they were already doing.