Who Would I Be Without You? //Ben Cook fanfic// *FINISHED*

Twenty-Eight: Life Outside The Spotlight

A/N: Okay, we're finally at the end of this fic...can't believe I actually did it! I actually finished a whole story without giving up halfway through! Thanks to everyone who stuck with me this far and I hope you enjoy the final chapter of Who Would I Be Without You...

One Crazy Year...

Okay! Hi! So this is my first ever post on this blog...woohoo!

Don't actually know where to start or how to begin. See, I'm new to this sort of thing, I've never really had the chance to share my own story before. Not that I haven't wanted to, of course I have. I've just never really seen the point before...until now.

So...My name is Olivia Cook, I'm 19 years old, I'm from Virginia USA and I have a lot to share.

Last year was probably the most eventful year of my life. I moved to New York to live with one of my older brother's for a few months, I made friends, had my first kiss, spent time in hospital and starred in a Broadway show. Just to name a few things...

But that's just the tip of the iceberg, there's a lot more where that came from! Then again, trying to explain the craziness that was last year, and, really, the life I've led up until now, is a lot. Even for the person who's lived it all already, trust me, it's a lot! There's so much I want to share with whoever is willing to listen, so, without further ado, I think it's time to share my story with whoever gives two shits to read this blog.

I'd say the perfect place to begin would probably-

I'm probably halfway through my flow of writing when my Skype call came up with a video chat request from BenjiBro97. My frown of annoyance turns to a warm smile as I plug my earphones into the laptop and press answer, Ben's face immediately popping up on the screen.

"Sup Benji!" I greet him brightly, smiling at him through the computer screen.

Ben's pixelated image smiles back, waving at me from what seems to be his bedroom in New York. "Hey Liv! How's it going? You almost here or what?"

I'm currently on a train heading into the city. It was about a 10 minute journey from the bus drop off at the airport to the train and then an additional 40 minutes on the train and I was about 5 minutes away from my platform where I'd get off and make my way into the city and to Ben and Josh's apartment.

"Almost, just another few minutes." I smile, flipping through my notebook and making a few notes for the blog post I was working on.

I got the idea to write the blog a few months back but didn't know what I wanted to write about, then I decided to try and document life as it goes, a kind of diary if you will. But before going onto the present, I felt the need to write about the last year or so of my life and how I got to where I was right now.

"How's the unemployed life treating you?" I smirk as Ben rolls his eyes. He had left Mean Girls a few weeks ago and was currently getting through his list of auditions in between teaching dance classes.

"If you must know I ay or may not have another job coming up soon..." he says coyly, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

My face lights up and I start chuckling. "oh my god that's amazing! Are you at any liberty to tell me...?" 

Ben shrugs, leaning back into his leather armchair. "I think it's best I tell you in person, I'd rather see you're actual facial expression instead of a pixelated version of it!"

I roll my eyes and let out a breathy chuckle. "okay, it better be good!" I jokingly threat whilst furrowing my brow.

"Oh it will be, don't you worry!" Ben exclaims, gesturing with his hands just how huge it was (it didn't even fit into the frame of the computer screen.

I nod. "Wow, that big?" he nods in response.

"So how's things going with Sky?" Ben asks, smirking at me and I go a light shade of pink.

I finally decided to tell Ben about 6 months into our relationship and though he was a little weird about it at first, he was cool with it and now wants to know the details of how our relationship is going and whether we're happy or not. It's not even an overprotective big brother way, he's chill and gives me my space and does his check ins every now and again.

Shrugging nonchalantly, I lean my elbows on my knees. "It's good. We're good. I'm happy...hopefully he's happy!" I laugh and Ben laugh's too.

"So, your gap year is almost over...what're you gonna do after it?" Ben questions, adjusting his laptop on what I assume is the coffee table.

I've been thinking a lot about that. I decided college wasn't for me when the time came around and Mom and Dad were supportive of that decision. I took up random temp jobs around my hometown, from simple manual labour doing yard work, to walking the neighbours dogs to make a little money and volunteering at a community centre.

"Actually, I was thinking of doing community college for at least a year, see how I get on with that, then we'll see if NYU is in my future." I explain, getting my water bottle out of my backpack and taking a long sip.

Ben nods along with what I'm saying solemnly. "Okay, well, that sounds like a plan."

"How's Josh doing? Is he back from the Bronx Tale tour yet?" I ask, gathering up my notebooks and pens, packing them away as the train gets closer to my stop.

"No, but he text me an hour ago to say he'd arrive just in time to see you, he's really excited." Ben explains, scrolling through his messages on his phone.

I smile, I've missed Josh. Seeing his bright smile and charming face in person is always a joy. I wish I could see it more often. I bite my lip as I remember another thing that completely slipped my mind.

"Ben?" I ask, feeling my hands get clammy as I reach for my backpack. "I'm almost there, so sorry to cut the conversation short."

Ben shakes his head. "Don't sweat it, I'll see you soon anyway." He smiles, picking up the laptop and putting it on his knee.

I nod, smiling back at him, waving through the screen. "See you there. Brother Bear." I say, ending the Skype call. I look back at the document I had just written and delete it before closing the laptop, shoving it into my backpack and zipping it up. I sit there for a few minutes in complete and utter silence before unzipping the front pocket of the bag and pulling out the pregnancy test I took in the airport bathroom.

My grip on it is tight as I stare at the 2 lines meaning positive, my vision blurring at the edges as tears fill my eyes. Clutching the thing to my chest, I lean back and try to control my breathing, a million thoughts whizzing round my head all at once...

What the hell am I supposed to do now?!