Who Would I Be Without You? //Ben Cook fanfic// *FINISHED*

Twenty-Two: The Voices That Echo...

A/N: Sorry for the late upload guys! Been quite busy with college and basic chores the last few weeks and generally have just been really tired and not had the energy to write, hope you can forgive me! Anyway! Enough excuses on with the chapter!!

Walking through the early morning hours in Central Park is strange. It's darker yes, but also...crisper, cooler, more quiet than any other time of day in this restless city, it's peaceful almost...until the calm darkness turns into a chilling evilness that I can't quite describe and a cold, all too familiar presence occupies my mind.

"Thought you could escape me that easily huh?" A voice says from behind me and I jump, spinning around in a dazed panic. Ben stands there, his hands dug into his pockets and staring at me coldly.

I squeeze my eyes shut. "Not again..." I mumble turning away and walking in the opposite directions, opening my eyes and stopping dead in my tracks, staring wide eyed at Ben's rippling figure a few inches in front of me.

"You really think it's gonna be that easy?" Ben asks, a cold and almost evil look shimmering in his dark eyes. No it, it's not actually Ben, it's not really him...

I swallow the dry lump forming in my throat as best I can and turn away from him as quickly as I can, "you're not real...it's all in my head...you're not real...it's all in my head..." I mumble, rubbing rough circles into my temples, staring straight ahead of me and walking faster.

"That's right, I am in your head," it says coldly, his voice sounding so loud and clear in my head that I whip my head around, not being able to see him. "And you know what that means?" He asks, a sudden cold breeze swirling around me and causing me to shiver, "You can't escape me, you can't escape the damage you've done or the people you've hurt." Ben mumbles darkly, his words echoing around my skull, causing a pulsing headache to form and make me feel light headed.

The next words I hear the hallucination say sound as if they are right next to my ear, "You know you can't hide from the dead right?" his cold breath hitting the back of my neck and giving me goosebumps.

I clench my fist and spin around, swinging out my right arm as hard as I can and letting out a loud, piercing scream, finding that my fist has made contact with nothing but air.

"She was so scared Olivia," I hear the voice say, spinning round to meet his dark eyes only a few feet away from me, "you knew she was a sleepwalker and didn't even try and help her!"

I run at him again, grunting as I pass right through his shadowy presence, tripping over the root of a tree and landing on the grass with a painful thud. "Didn't even cross your mind that she was the one who turned the light on, knowing she would've woken up in the middle of the night and needing to find her way back!" it continued, an anger boiling furiously in the pit of my stomach.

"I...I-I was tired...I-I didn't t-think--" I begin, pulling myself up with help from the tree but slip after a cold force pushed me back down.

"Of course you didn't! YOU NEVER THINK OLIVIA!" Ben's voice was loud and crackling and firey now, making me feel more light headed than ever. The wind had begun to pick up , causing my hair to blow about my face, making it hard for me to see where the hallucination would turn up next.

"Please just leave me alone!" I begged, closing my eyes tightly and curling myself up into a tight little ball, covering my ears as tears sting my eyes. "Why are you d-doing this? W-What do you w-want from me?!" I splutter out, all the air forcing it's way out of my lungs, the wind loud and strong against my head, making me feel dizzy.

"I'm trying to make you see what you did to me." A different voice now echoes around my skull, I open my eyes from having them so tightly shut and look up, seeing a face I know all too well. A face I had been seeing everyday for months and months, on lockers, at every school assembly for the last couple months, at the Homecoming football game, our Junior Year Yearbook memorial page....Talia.

My body suddenly uncurls from itself, the wind seems to have calmed down to a light breeze and the atmosphere has become surprisingly warm. I grab the low hanging branch of the tree I was under again and pull myself up, standing unsteadily against the trunk of the tree. I stare for what feels like hours at the fiery haired, pale skinned figure stood only a few feet from me.

"Talia?" I ask, so dumbfounded I could barely form any other words in my mouth.

The figure began walking over to me, making me think I was on a merry-go-round going twice as fast as it out to be going and feeling the sudden urge to throw up.

The figure was now within touching distance and at eye-level with me, it's features dark and fuzzy, a cold and evil sort of feel to the vibrations around it, that is, until it's hand touches mine and a warm, unmistakable sensation of love and affection spread across my body as the features came into view and the smiling face of one of my best friends, Talia Valentine, looked back down at me kindly.

"I'm dead Olivia...and it is your fault." She whispered in my hear, helping me stand steadily, "but I don't hate you for it." she explains, running her fingers through my hair and cupping my cheek with her warm, very real feeling hands.

"I...I'm s-so sorry--" I begin but Talia puts a finger to her lips, her warm, friendly, comforting smile never once wavering. "It's okay...it will all be okay now..." she reassures me.

"How?" I ask, tears brimming in my eyes, "how will it ever be okay again?" the tears then stream down my face, feeling myself crumple to the ground, my head in my hands as I cry and cry, fearing I would never stop.

I felt those same pair of warm, soft hands take my head and lift it up so my now tear streaked face is looking up into her glowing one. "Come back with me," she replies, helping me to my feet again. "Come to the other side and we can be together. No more hurting, no more damage, no more pain..."

"The other side? You....You mean...?" I begin to ask and she smiles a sad yet understanding smile, nodding at the silent question I was asking with my eyes.

"But...how could I? I-It's not possible...right?" I ask, as Talia held up the small bottle of pills that held my anti-depressants and sleeping pills. "Take a handful, lay in my lap and go to sleep...when you wake up, you will be weightless, peaceful and free...forever roaming with me."

I think this offer over for a few minutes. Die? Is this really my last resort? Is this really the price I must pay to be free from all the pain I have caused, not only to myself but to my family, friends and peers? This was a huge thing to be put on my shoulders, whether a ghost is persuading me to do it or not. I've no other choices left, I feel empty, numb and cold, I've pushed everyone away, I'm alone in a park, my only friend the hallucination of the girl I killed without knowing how and I am just sick and tired of all the secrets and lies I have been told throughout my life that I just want some peace of mind...fuck it.

I take the bottle out of Talia's hand and uncapped it, taking a small handful out and popping them into my mouth one by one, swallowing the dry and bitter pills, gagging every few pills as I try to swallow and push them past the dryness of my throat. I get to the last pill and swallow it down, suddenly feeling very tired and dizzy, Talia caught me before I fell and guided me over to a grassy area I could barely make out and placed me under the shade of a strange, bronze-gold statue, laying my head in her lap gently.

I then hear a soft, low melody come from up above me, a humming tune that was so soft and sweet and comforting, it wasn't long before my eyes began to droop, my vision blurring and shifting around me darkening at the edges ever so slightly. 

I feel Talia's soft hands stroking through my hair, a smile spread across my face and a single tear runs down my face as I finally let my eyes slowly drift shut. FInally feeling completely at peace, for the first time in months.

I breath in....then out....

Then....

...Silence.