Stucky Oneshots

Realisation can make or break you

"You're a colossal dick James Barnes!!"

The door slammed shut, as his shaking knees use every inch of strength to stomp off into the bedroom and plank down onto the bed as he groaned into his pillow. Steve was beyond pissed at his friend. He thought it unfair how Bucky Barnes gets to waltz around like a man whore picking up every dame in the street. Unfair how Bucky Barnes gets to work at the docks, doing hard labour all because he was a scrawny little shit who sometimes can't even get out of bed. He's waiting to die, he knows he is. Steve hates being a burden on family. It's what killed his mother. Most of all he hates being a burden on James Buchanan Barnes. He ought to curse god in the process for bringing him into Steve's life, because not only is it unfair that he has to work to death for him. He was the reason Steve has not so wholesome thoughts. Barnes is a man for fuck sake. He groans into his pillow and bangs his head against it.

"Rogers, I don't get why you're so upset?"

Bucky's standing at the door frame, his eyebrows furrow together as he lets out a sigh. What did he do? He thought he was doing a good thing setting up Steve with a dame. He looked like he was having fun. Or was that just his distorted optimism.

"Bucky. Go. Away."

"Sit up and put the pity dick out of your mouth. Now you tell me right now why you're so upset Rogers."

He flopped onto the bed and gazed at Steve. He wasn't the only one shaking. His bruised up hands shuddered. Was it the cold? Or the fact that his best friend was in pain. Steve only crawled away from him so much so that if it wasn't for Bucky he would of fell headfirst onto the floor.

"You can't be in here anymore"

Steve was sobbing wrapping his arms around  himself, trying to protect him from the emotional harm. Only it was him causing it himself. He knew Bucky wouldn't leave him. But would he approve?

"Steve what the fuck are you on about?!"

"I'm a fucking fairy, Barnes. A goddamn Queer!! Do you know what they'd do to me?! I can't take it anymore Buck. I want to go. I hoped for a long time that one of my illness would kill me.....but it didn't. I tried to go. I prayed to god every night that he would change me, kill me. To just stop this torture. I can accept that I'm gay but god help me James Barnes you're the reason why! I held on hoping that you would feel the same....but you don't, because you go around every dame in the street like a sex worker looking for money. it hurts Buck,  the pain in my chest builds up and up and for fuck sake it's not my shitty lungs. It's because no matter how many times I hope and dream you'll never see me the same way I see you!!!"

He's punching his weak hands into James chest as he drowns in his tears. Shaking hands wrap around him and pull him close. He hears sobbing too. He freezes. By god he freezes. Trapped in a spell.

"Steven Grant Rogers for fuck sake. Why couldn't you just tell me" he cups Steve's face makes him look up at him, all he sees is sorrow. "I wouldn't push you away, I wouldn't of forced you to change, to leave. Or get out of my life, I know I've acted a fool, going around like a whore but listen to me now. It's because I love you stupid. I know I messed up but I did it to hide my own feelings. Please forgive me I love you more than you know Steve."

James eyes widen, Steve Rogers is kissing him. The boy he fell in love with at age 13 is kissing him. He kisses back, he wants this moment to last forever. Or maybe until Steve lungs act up and he gasps for breathe, which happened moments later. All he knows is that the love of his life gets to be in his arms at night. Even if he acts a fool.

A/N hey guys! Author here. I've been so busy with tests and school works, even mental breakdowns over dysphoria (being a trans male sucks) anyway I'm back and I hope to post more Oneshots! If you have a request feel free to ask.