He's So Innocent

Chocolate Milk(16)

I let it happen again.

I can't do this anymore-

Felix shut his journal and tossed it onto the floor. He just couldn't live with himself anymore.
________________________________

Minho had jumped.
Jisung didn't make it back to the house.
He found a way to reach the bottom of the river and look.
Minho's body was there where it laid mangled and inhumanely shapen. His leg was bent backwards and his face coated with sticky red blood.
Jisung touched the boy's neck with his trembling hands and felt a tiny pulse as small and rapid breaths left Minho's lips.
He failed again.
Jisung clung the boy's battered body into his chest and began to walk towards the road.
"Felix!" he cried out, arms feeling weak. He felt so weak. Minho looked so weak.
The light of Felix's car illuminated the bushes as the car approached. Jisung places Minho's body in the back seat and sat with him.
"Hospital," he breathed.
Felix didn't respond but floored the gas and swerved the car.
________________________________

Jisung hated the sight of blood.
He hated the color and the stench and the metallic taste.
He hated how it coated Minho's body.
Jisung watched through the window of the medical bay as several white clad men and women huddled around the nearly dead body.
A nurse tapped his shoulder.
"Lee Know is in critical condition, are you family?" she asked with kind eyes. It was so late at night that Jisung could see she was waiting for the end of her shift.
"Lee Know? Sorry I'm here with my friend Minho-"
"Suicide attempt?" the nurse asked. Jisung nodded, slightly confused.
"Well, his name is Lee Know, perhaps Minho was a nickname?" she promoted. The nurse beckoned for Jisung to sit as she pulled out her clipboard.
Jisung didn't move, his eyes were red and puffy with tiredness and tears.
The nurse opened her mouth and smiled.
"Unfortunately, I hoped I wouldn't see Lee Know here again anytime soon. Four months ago, he was in here for the same predicament," she mumbled.
"I've learned this already," Jisung answered.
The nurse looked down at her paper and sighed.
"He's suffering pretty bad, emotionally and mentally as well as his bodily condition. He has four fractured ribs, a shattered collarbone, fractured radius, and broken wrist. He also has some internal bleeding near his lungs. Is there a family member I can call?" she explained.
Jisung shook his head.
"His father committed suicide and I'm not sure about his mother," Jisung answered.
"She was murdered by Minho's father," someone said. Jisung and the nurse turned to look at Felix and his father.
"Felix," Jisung greeted. He stood up and embraced the other.
Felix toughly gripped his back.
"Holding up okay?" he whispered into Jisung's ear. Jisung nodded against Felix's chest.
The two boys separated.
"Yongbok, I'm going to take the train home, you can take the car," Felix's father said and turned to leave with his hands in his coat pockets. Felix nodded and sat down in a chair with Jisung next to the nurse.
"You can see him now," she grinned.
"Is there anything I can get you both to drink?" she offered, the grin still playing on her lips.
"Chocolate milk," Jisung muttered. Felix didn't respond. The nurse stood up and led them to the door and then walked off to the cafeteria.
Jisung put a hand on the door and waited.
"What if he doesn't want to seem me, Lee?" he whispered. Felix grunted, his voice low.
"He is broken right now, he needs to see someone that loves him. That person is you."
Jisung didn't respond and turned the handle of the door.
He took a glimpse at Minho's battered body on the hospital bed fast asleep. He tried not to stare too much in fear he would cry again.
Felix took a seat in a chair next to him and rubbed Jisung's hand with his thumb.
"He'll be okay, no matter how much he doesn't want to be, we'll show him that life is worth it," Felix mumbled. Jisung let a tear fall into his cheek before sniffling.
The door to the room opened again and the nurse stepped in with a glass of chocolate milk.
"Visiting hours end in a half hour," she said and then she was gone.
Jisung held the glass of milk in his hands and shakily took a sip. He looked at Minho's blistered lips and just wished that he could kiss them better. Kiss him better.
Both Felix and Jisung day in silence for the rest of visiting hours. They looked longingly at the boy that had made their life complete, too shocked to say anything. The nurse popped in again to say how they should leave. Jisung put down his glass and grabbed Felix's hand.
The two boys left the hospital and drove to Felix's house.
________________________________

Soft eyelids fluttered open to the steady beeping of a monitor.
Guess I failed again.
Groggily, the boy looked around and his eyes rested on something small on a counter across the room.
A glass of chocolate milk.
Oh....
"Jisung?" he mumbled, his voice slicked with tiredness.
He had come to see me....
Maybe he does care....