He's So Innocent

Pretty Sky(14)

Minho was right.
It was cold outside.
Jisung wrapped his coat around himself tighter as Felix gassed the pedal of his father's station wagon.
A single tear slid down his face and before he could subtly wipe it away, Felix made eye contact with him in the mirror.
"It's okay to cry," Felix said with a sad smile, putting his eyes back on the road. The sky glittered sadly like the way Minho used to gaze at Jisung.
Jisung sniffed loudly and sat up with a groan.
"No it's not!"
Felix swerved as the boy yelled suddenly, thankful that no one else was on the road that late at night.
"Jisung-"
"I'm innocent! Okay Felix? My shitty family never taught me about the world...I...I guess I just never realized that someone I loved could hate themselves so much to-" Jisung sobbed, letting the emotions fly free.
"-t-to kill himself."
Then it was silent. Jisung could hear the saliva slowly being swallowed as Felix gulped.
"What?" he sniffed, his eyes watery. Felix bit his lip.
"Jisung, I'm going to tell you a story. You have to promise me that you will not react," he offered.
Jisung nodded, slinking back down in his seat.
"Four months ago..."
________________________________

I didn't think I knew him as well as I really did.
I didn't think that he was so broken inside.
I didn't know that he had been seeing my father for emotional support.

I'm such a shitty friend.
-
Felix closed his journal and went to get into his father's car. Another day of college as a freshman. He'd never understand why he had to go through four more years to get his degree.

His father smiled sadly at him when he closed the car door.
"Listen, Yongbok," he said, "he would have told you at one point or another. Don't think too badly about it. He loves you so much and wants you to be strong with him."
Felix said nothing and got out of the car to enter the lecture hall. He tried to avoid his friend, Minho. He just couldn't look him in the eye anymore.
A figure sat down next to him, sniffing slightly, a tick that only Felix's best friend had.
It was Minho.
"I can't do this," he muttered. Felix stood up and grabbed his bag before stomping to the bathroom.
Minho followed in close pursuit.

The door to the men's bathroom slammed shut as Felix pushed it hard. He didn't want Minho to follow him. He walked away a bit too quick to look at his tears in the mirror, giving Minho a chance to slip inside.
"Felix? What's wrong?"
Felix shook his head.
"When were you gonna tell me? Huh?" he shouted at Minho in the mirror. Minho flinched and recoiled slightly. He decided to just let his best friend speak.
"When were you gonna say, 'Felix oh my god I'm depressed and want to fucking die!'? When!?" he screamed, his face becoming red.
Minho reached forward as Felix turned to face him. The younger slapped his hand away.
"Felix, I wasn't ready. I didn't want you to be worried-"
"Fuck what you think! I am worried! I don't know you anymore! You-"
"Aren't the same?" Minho asked and answered for Felix.
"I know, you didn't know that side of me. And that's fine. I just wish you didn't find out like this..." Minho trailed off, staring at his shoes.
"Find out? I found your fucking note, Minho! If I didn't find it, if I wasn't in your room because I forgot my headphones, you'd be fucking dead! And I'd blame all of it on me!" Felix cried, sinking to the ground.
Minho started to yell then, the tears forcing themselves to run faster and faster.
"Blame yourself? I'm the fucking loser that had to exist! I'm the reason everyone around me is so miserable! Ever since you found out, I'm the reason you are in pain!" Minho bellowed, rage seething through his breath.
Felix looked up at his best friend, the tears dried on his face.
"What the fuck are you saying?"
Minho bit his tongue.
"What the FUCK?"
Minho shook his head.
Felix sprang up.
"I'm in pain everyday because I'm in love okay? I'm in love with someone I can't have and I almost lost them! Okay? Is that enough for you?" The boy clenched his fist on his heart.
"Felix-"
"Forget it, Minho. I guess secrets do exist between us. All you ever do is make things so much worse."
Felix left the bathroom and couldn't go back to the lecture hall. His legs took him the long way home, walking block after block back home.

He couldn't help but feel like maybe he made everything worse.

Maybe Minho would try something-
Felix banged his head into his pillow once he crawled into bed.
Minho was on his own now. If he couldn't trust Felix then why the hell were they friends?
-
Nothing to Felix was better than sleeping in.
He loved the way the sunlight creeped into the window and made little beams glow on his face. It was the best way to wake.
He didn't like when his father stormed into his room to wake him up in a hurry.
"Yongbok!" his father cried, shaking his shoulders. Felix groaned and rolled over.
"Get your ass out of bed!" he yelled again.
Something was wrong, Felix's father never swore unless there was a crisis.
He rolled out of bed and got dressed once he ushered his father out. Felix grabbed his phone and looked at his notifications.

Minho😀
felix the sky is so pretty at night.
12.46 am
don't forget me.
12.48 am
Minho😀
you ever wonder how it feels to fly?
1.06 am
goodbye felix
Delivered

Felix frowned at the texts, not exactly knowing what they meant. Minho was always philosophical. He loved history and english and all that. Sometimes that was how it was, his texts were hard to decipher. The boy was probably quoting something famous for all Felix knew.
Felix walked out of his room to find his father sobbing at the coffee table. He ran to his father's side and soothed him.
"What happened?" he asked worriedly.
His father looked at him with red eyes.
"Minho is in the hospital, he fell off a cliff," his father responded.
Felix didn't hear him.
"What?"
His dad looked at him again, narrowing his eyes.
"Your best friend tried to commit fucking suicide, Yongbok, and in his letter, he said it was your fault."
________________________________
end of memory.

a/n; sorry about this one everybody.
new updates are coming sooner bc I'm inspired !