TW: SUICIDE
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Dear Michael,
Everything has changed since you've been gone. Even though three months have passed, it feels like yesterday. For one moment, you're still here with me holding my hand, and the next second I find myself alone. I can barely eat, I find myself looking at your "Player 1" mug you never let anyone touch. I'm so sorry. I wish I could turn back time and stop you, or at least bring you back. I wish I said "I love you" sooner.
Watching old runs on AOTD is the only thing that keeps me sane. Every time I see you laugh, I smile. I miss your laugh, you were so loud. There's too much silence now, and I can't stand it. I can't believe I miss you yelling and screaming, but here I am.
I miss your live streams, the way you used to stutter when you saw I had joined. I miss the way you used to look at me when I wasn't looking. I could feel you staring at me with those beautiful brown eyes of yours. I miss the way you used to blush when I looked back at you. I miss having fun. I miss making stupid excuses for using your mug or forgetting to take the trash out. I miss your silly angry face. I miss you pretending you were mad at me for more than 5 minutes. I miss your smile a lot.
I miss the stupid things we used to do. I miss the things we haven't gotten a chance to do. But we also did great things. We helped people. You and me against the world...
But you're not here anymore. And I no longer know how to breathe. I'm in the bathroom, remembering that horrid day, and hoping it was just a bad dream. And I would wake up any minute. But it's not. And I can't accept that. I would rather be with you, than spend another day without you.
So here I lay, wrapped up in a warm bath, the same way I found you. My sleep pills in my hand, the thought of you in my mind, and I finish writing this note. See you soon, Michael.
-Jeremy
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I'm not sorry.
YOU ARE READING
BMC/DEH Oneshots
Fiksi PenggemarHIGHEST RANKINGS #46 IN BEMORECHILL #42 IN DEH #32 IN RICHJAKE Just BMC one-shots... mostly boyf riends with some rake and Brooke/Jenna sprinkled heere and there. REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN
