in too deep

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i know i have to let it be.
she doesn't love me,
and she never will.
and that's okay.
but there are times when
i look at her
and splinter into a million pieces all over again
and my heart aches
and my lungs feel like
i'm inhaling the shards of what once was me.
because i'm clean from him,
but she's still all over me
and no matter how hard i try
to wash her from my brain,
she never leaves.
and that's exactly how i felt with him,
and i hardly think of him now.
but somehow this feels different.
i got in too deep this time,
and now i'm drowning.

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