My Innocent Love

Chapter 2 The Curiosity and The Regret

When something doesn't feel right to me it's my habit to sulk for hours or perhaps, days until I could understand the cause behind it because I'm blessed with this sheer inquisitiveness always to know things that others might not want to know. I don't know if it's a right quality or not, but when I feel it taking over me, its uncontrollable.

Something similar has been happening for a few days now. Or I should say, since the day I met Raisha. If her condition affected me on the first day, it troubled me now. It has been exactly twenty days since we sat together but we didn't exchange a word.

It was a good thing because I don't like to indulge in conversations until they're important, but I don't know why with her, I hoped she would say something.

Just tell me what has happened to her. I know I can ask her, but I don't want her to feel like I'm mocking her state or trying to intrude in her personal issues.

But you know when you see someone in pain sitting right beside you every day, you obviously feel this urge to inquire them the reasons for the mishap with them.

I felt the same, but I didn't react on it thinking I might be crossing a line by being personal. Given, she's a classmate but still, it doesn't give me the right to question her regarding anything nor she owes me any explanation.

But I can't help but wonder what disease she had that made her so pale.

Somewhat, skinny, sad, depressed, lonely and unhappy. From the first day itself, I've never seen her smile. She sat quietly at our place, immersed in her books or simply, she rested her head on the desk and relaxed.

Sometimes I felt she was crying in her heart. And the mere thought of her crying raised my heartbeat because I'm not good with people crying around me.

I can't even handle when Mom cried at times because of Dad mistreating me or her. It was our life that we must live with him no matter what comes or goes. No one can do anything for us but I wanted to do something for Raisha.

I know I don't have any right to even think about it but the way everyone treated her in the class was wrong.

It was absurd, and I don't know how people can be so indifferent to her?

Shouldn't we all praise her for her efforts to at least continue her education even in those scenarios? To be honest, I was in awe of her strength to even attend full-day school. And I'm certain if either of us were in her place, we would have opted out. I bet I would have left school if I became a laughing stock for people. But she had guts. That bravery was commendable in my eyes.

I don't know what ran in others mind when they saw her, but I certainly don't pity her. In fact, I admire her will-power.

When I see her in school, I always remember the time when I was in the fourth standard and I got typhoid. My Mom gave two months leave application to the school management telling that until I don't get my strength back, she's not sending me back to school. Even they agreed.

But with Raisha, it was a severe situation, yet no one thought that she needed some help.

In my opinion, she shouldn't be burdened with studies. She should come to school to have a good time with people who could make her laugh and could welcome her with warmth.

There shouldn't be any pressure on her about marks or any kind of activities. She should be allowed to enjoy instead be laughed about her issues.

But yeah who will bother about my strange opinions. I will be told to shut up because I'm just a kid. But hey, this kid has got a mind of his own and that certainly, doesn't enjoy anyone being humiliated for their illness.