My Innocent Love

Chapter 8 A Raging Storm...

After coming to Delhi, I always indulged myself in my work and activities and cut myself from the usual communication with my parents because they do nothing but argue every time we sit together and honestly, I'm tired of listening to them. Its suffocating and exhausting. In the first week, when I locked myself in the room, was the day, I went through all the events again of the past days, and after pondering over it for hours, I concluded myself that Raisha was innocent. She had nothing to do with what her father was doing. He did what he thought was right. He was a broken father who was tired of seeing his daughter become a topic of humiliation in the school, so he did what he thought was right.

I don't blame either of them. Given that if my father got to know, he'll definitely file a lawsuit, or worse issue his own sentence on them and the thing is, whatever happened with Raisha will never reach to his ears because in my eyes, he doesn't need to know whatever the shit happens with me.

It's the circumstances call that makes us react in situations which might seem wrong at a certain point and sometimes, they ask of us to do things which we might not do otherwise. I don't need to have proofs to believe her. I'd believe her with closed eyes. That's just how it all was. One weak pressurizing moment cost a lot.

Although, believing in her doesn't me I let myself guilt-free because the damage's undone.

I was someone who considered savagery as well as retribution of any wrong I might have done. Thus, it was the way I punished myself by letting the nightmares take the entire control of my night and not let me live because I knew somewhere, she was aching, and I wasn't there to hold her...

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With my heart crying...My soul dying... My life scattering,

My sleepy body writhing...My eyes waiting to leak the tears of blood

I crossed the next few months of my life loaded with profound guilt, grief, and unsaid and unfulfilled...love...I did go to bed but only to end up waking calling out for her in the middle of the night or at the dawn. Sometimes, even in the middle of the day my hand raised to hold her and when my attempt met with nothing but failure, my hopes died.

But I still lived hanging with that undying and unfading urge to find my life again...

And I felt that only on the 3rd November like that day.

I woke up sweating after having another nightmare and I don't even try to stop them. Like her, even these nightmares are part of me...and since no one knows or I never allow for anyone to know, so there is no chance of getting rid of them. My breathing was lower than ever; my eyes took a few moments to adjust until they landed on the hanging calendar and immediately, I got down my bed as a jolt of electricity ran across my body.

Everything faded from my head, my fear, my tiredness, my nightmare and all I remembered was her...

I opened the drawer of my study table and retrieved the notebook that was more important to me than my life was...

Holding it close to my heart, I walked in the balcony to welcome the rising morning glory ...and then standing, facing the sun which was rising from the horizon ...I looked at it for a second, before bringing my lips closer to the top of the notebook and planting a kiss over it.

Caressing it with my fingers, I whispered, "Happy 17th Birthday...Sunshine...," for the heaven to carry it along with the air to my real Sunshine...who turned a year older and more beautiful than ever.

I don't have to see her to know if she was still an angel or not because I'll know it with closed eyes that she will forever remain one...

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