My Innocent Love

Chapter 5 She's Sunshine...

I never knew in a few days' things change at a speed which will make me question the entire logic of this universe. But here was I while at kickboxing training, lost and desperately seeking answers for the transformations I'm seeing in Raisha's state. In the past one and half year, she had become someone hard to even recognize. Her lively eyes are no longer shining; there's a hollowness in them which I so badly want to take away, but I can't.

I've tried to make myself believe that she was recovering but the truth was nothing was good for her. From her pale face to her swelled body, everything hurt her. Just by seeing her face these days, I feel my eyes welling up then I can't imagine the pain she must be feeling inside her chest. It was certainly, tearing her apart with each day and to of that, our school is the most pathetic place I've ever come across in the recent times. It might be a famous institution or blah blah....an Oscar-worthy place, but in my eyes, it sucks more than a bloody criminal would do.

When the class students jeered her at her presence in the auditorium for the sports day practice, my hands curled into fists as tight as a jammed box. I restrained myself from not going after her and pulling her back and allowing her to see me perform. I had wanted her there as much as I wanted my mother. Apart from Mom, I actually never appreciated anyone else coming to the school functions, not that there was anyone to support me. The irony laid with my Dad. Despite having the upper hand in my life, he never bothered to be a part of any of the success I had. The only thing in which his interest was with me keeping up in the so-called rotten reputation of his empire, which by the way makes me want to jump off a cliff because I fail to understand his obsession with it.

With these thoughts lurking at the back of my head when I trained for kickboxing I lost that day against a newbie and it was a first because, since the time I joined here, I haven't lost a match against anyone. It surprised all the other trainees while my trainer looked at me with startled eyes, but I could say he read my despairing eyes because these days they've become as dull as Raisha's.

She wasn't happy. Neither I was at peace. I don't know when I became the only companion of her pain but even in this tragic state, I liked to be her partner. If that's what the entire ordeal is about.

When I returned home that day, to my shock, Dad's car was parked outside, and I shivered at my place at the mere thought of him finding out that I went against his order. I embraced myself for the worse because I know it's what coming at me. Thankfully, when I reached the entrance, Mom stood there in a panicky state holding my casual clothes.

"Thank God, you're back or else he would have sent a search party for you. I told him you went out for a walk," she said taking my bag from me and handing me my clothes.

I rolled my eyes at her inability to understand that my father doesn't give two hoots whether I live or die.

"I bet you he wouldn't have sent a search party to find out if something happened to me but to find out if I broke one of his conservative rules or not and if so then how many days should he lock me in the store-room or in which boarding school should he sent me next so that I'll understand what manners mean. But yes, the search party would be out definitely searching for the flesh of Aayush Khandelwal. Dead or alive, everything is acceptable."

I couldn't hide the bitterness in my tone as I said all this to her and I could see, her eyes filled with tears. She also knows this very well that as much as I love her, I have come to despise my father in the recent days to an extent that I can't imagine but still a part of me sometimes hope that he'll change one day, and he'll love me as his son and not break my heart into pieces every time I follow my heart rather his order. Besides the regular annoyance I feel for him, even in little quantity, I love him in my own way otherwise I won't be beating myself every day for trying to fit in everything he said in which I could.