My Innocent Love

Chapter 15 What's Unconditional Love?

I've always thought tragedies are parcel of life; no one can ever stop the destiny from changing its course. From meeting Sunshine to falling in love with her, I considered it a sign of God to do something better for her because there must be something good inside me otherwise why would he bless me with a wife like her? An adopted kid got the most enchanting girl as his wife. Its surprise worthy. But what's more shocking is the things this mesmerizing woman could do for me and I'm certain I don't deserve it. Yet, she was willing to sacrifice herself for me; she was willing to leave her dreams to take care of me.

How's that acceptable? How's that even sensible that because I'm falling apart, she must lose herself too because she's my wife? What kind of justice will that be to her after she had struggled to be in this position?

That night when for some time she didn't return to the room; I slowly made my way to the door, recalling the number of steps she had told me were there in between the bed and the door. So, I counted them and covered the distance and it was then I heard her talking to Isha.

"I'm dropping out of college, Ishu." She told and my heart dropped right there and then; I staggered backwards but supported myself immediately holding the door frame.

What was she thinking? And then what I heard made me numb. I suppressed my cries hearing her; and slowly made my way back to the bed not knowing what else to do.

I can't change this. Partly it was the perk of being a human that I can't control everything; sometimes the destiny wins but I couldn't allow this destiny to tear my love apart...

I couldn't allow it to make her feel unacceptable again...I thought and thought, and after that when she came back in room, I kissed her to my hearts content, showered my love on her as if it was the last time, I was holding her in my arms.

I can't see her! But I know my every kiss was raising doubts into her mind. I continued to hold her for the night and asked her repeatedly if she knows how much I love her or not? In response, she only hugged me tightly and murmured the words of love every time I asked her.

And at dawn once she fell asleep on my chest, I was done making my decision. I decided what any man in love must do. I had known what she wanted to achieve, and she will get it.

She had wanted nothing but to show people that she wasn't incapable ...And she will do that.

After Raisha left for the temple that day, I summoned my father-in-law, mother and Jay in the room. There was pin drop silence at first as they were waiting for me to say something and taking a deep breath, I rose to my feet first.

Jay came to my side to help me and I stood rigid, shielding my heart in a cage.

"I have taken a decision and I'm not asking for any advice. I'm stating it because I'm going to do this."

"Jeej's, what's going in your head?" It was Jay whose voice shivered first.

"I'm going away for a few days or months or years...," My voice choked at the last word because even I didn't know for how long this exile will last.

I heard three gasps near me and I closed my fists on my either sides.

"Aayush....tell me...what I'm thinking its not that...," It was Dad who came and held me by my shoulders and shook me.

"I'm leaving Rai...,"

"What the hell!" Before I could complete, Jay blasted at me turning me to face him.

"What has gotten into you? What the hell do you mean by you're leaving Di?" He lashed at me. I knew it wasn't going to be easy.

"Nothing has gotten into me, I have finally realized that I have lost my ability to see but I haven't lost my mind to allow your sister to give up her career. She is going to drop out of the college so that she can sit at home and be a wife to me...and until I'm alive I won't let that happen."

"She is going to give up everything for my sake...," I yelled and sat at the bed, tired and frustrated. A sob escaped my lips when I felt three hands on my knees.

"You all can be as mad at me as you want but someone here has to think for her. She will never listen to us in this case and she will lose a chance to make a future for herself...,"

Jay hugged me tightly and cried uncontrollably.

"Don't do this...to yourself...to her...Why do you have to leave for her to rise?"

I caressed his head and replied in a sad tone, "You asked me once what I can do for her? This is what I can do, Jay. I can sacrifice my very existence from her life for her. I give her my all dreams. Raisha will live Aayush's dreams too. I give her every shred of my heart, every tiny hope I have in myself for her to excel."

He parted from me, and cupping my face, he pleaded, "I'm sorry I asked that. Please forget it, Jeej's. You don't have to prove anything. I swear I know how much you love her, you don't have to do this...Please.... Don't do this...,"

"Please...don't do this to yourself, Aayush...," Dad supported, and not able to hold myself, I hugged him tightly.

"I love...her. More than. Myself, Dad...Your daughter is my life and if my life fails then I fail...Please...understand me...She deserve to stand on her feet...,"

"If in the accident I would have died, wouldn't you have asked her to stop grieving and do something for herself...If she wasn't my wife now, then wouldn't you have told her to continue her life...Then why now she must give up...She saw those dreams before meeting me...,"

"You know...our first proper conversation was about our dreams...I saw how happy she felt to talk about how she wanted to make you and Mom proud ...how can I be the reason for her to give up her career, when I vowed myself to take her there...,"

"Our love will fail if those dreams are not fulfilled...We both will fall apart ...if one of us doesn't do the rightful thing now...Please...I beg you. Let my Raisha live her dreams, prove her worth to everyone, most of all to herself...,"

I poured my heart out in front of them and in response I heard their muffled cries.

"Isn't there any other choice?" Jay hiccupped.

"Your sister is stubborn. In my case, she won't listen to anyone not even to me...she will make me give into her demand, but she won't put herself above me...That's how she is. Stubborn and selfless." I answered and he rested his head on my knee, holding my hand in his as if begging me to not do this without words.

"Will you come back ever to us?"

"I will once she shines like a star and tell everyone that Raisha never gave up."

"When after 12 years, our family left us in their ego, it didn't hurt this much Jeej's; as much as its killing me now to allow you to go away...when I know you're killing yourself with this decision...," He said and before I knew it, I felt him running out of the room. I knew I have torned them apart; but its not my intention to do so. A part of me is already dead as I have taken this decision, but the other part which listened to Jay felt pleased to know that my presence is so much appreciated in this family.

An adopted child could also be loved in the right ways!

Mom and Dad caressed my head and left while I laid on the bed alone and closed my eyes recalling every moment, I have spent with her since we were 12. There was not even a single second when I haven't loved her. From a stranger to lover to husband, it was all her who was on my heart.

I was dying after making this choice but its not in my hand anymore. Its how my love is for her; that I don't think how and why I end up doing things for her because it was after meeting her, I had known that I have a heart and it was capable of nothing but ...

Unconditional love...and it's for only her...Only Raisha

My Sunshine, my soulmate and my Life...my reason of existence ...

If I don't do this for her then who would do? I married her because her family had issues in sharing their name with her, but they will know that to shine she doesn't need their name...she's alone enough to do it. She is capable of things that I even can't begin to imagine, and I know she will do it after I'm gone. She will fulfill her Aayush's wish...She will recreate her destiny and write our happily after in her own handwriting and that would be the day, everyone would know Aayush's Raisha never failed...

She won the biggest trophy of the world. She won love...Her Innocent Love...