My Innocent Love

Chapter 10 A strength like never...

Tears spilled; heart throbbed; and my body curled in a ball on the floor as I clutched Her only memory to my heart and cried silently for everything. It wasn't even for me today; it was for her as well because I'd been holding myself back from breaking down, but I needed a release. I can't cry in front of anyone because I don't think I have any shoulder to lean on; Dad could've been the one hiding me in his arms when everything is falling apart for me, but he's my adopted Dad and I supposed they don't console their adopted children when they learn that their biological parents were dead and buried in some graveyard.

There was so much love inside me that I had shielded from showing to my father; and now it felt as if I was right to hide every trace of it; every shred of my heart from her because he didn't want it. And suddenly my own life was a flashback of Raisha's life; no one wanted her; and no one wanted me. We both were different yet same; it was the reason, in the entire school, I connected with her on a level in which no one would have connected with anyone ever in their lives. Our bond relied on the unsaid understanding of pain, and desire of unconditional love, which flooded in her heart, but people denied seeing it because they went after the few flaws, we had in our lives. If being human is a flaw, then I'm glad I and Raisha were imperfect in every way.

And suddenly the joke was on me; at least she knows who her parents are; while, here I'm who doesn't even know if my parents got the proper funeral or who gave pyre to their dead bodies. I failed as a son before even stepping up on that pedestal to do something for them. And then, when I wanted to something for those who I called Mom and Dad, to only discover I don't have the right to do so because...I'm unwanted in their family. A charity!

When in this disarrayed state; I drifted into a paralyzed form I had no idea, but I got out of it, when I felt someone wiping my tears with their soft hands. I snapped my eyes open to see Her sitting there with that silent smile on her face which she always had when we talked; when we looked at the other and when...we became each other's heart...Through my teary lashes, I peeked at her as she forwarded her fragile-small hand towards me; My Sunshine...she was still the same...the most priceless heart of this universe...my heart, my soul who came fighting the dead ends of the world to hold me in my chaos...

I kept my hand in her, rising to my feet and we walked till the couch; once seated I kept my head on her lap, and she caressed my hair as I held her other hand and pressed soft kisses on her swollen fingers...she was aching...so was I...

I looked up to her to see her looking at me with a painful smile.

"Raisha...I...," she kept her finger on my lips halting me before I could utter a word to her about everything.

"You won't...give up...you'll fight and do ...what you ..must do...," She said in a mere whisper and suddenly, I got all the answers with her just one line. It was what she was doing, and she wanted me to do the same because the options are two: - Either give up and live in a shell or fight for yourself and rejoice at your attempts. Raisha was doing the same and it was time, I do it as well...I'll struggle, I'll fight, but I'll reach there where she wants me to be...

I nodded and she smiled. And everything suddenly changed. In a moment, there were no apprehensions. No sorrows, no loneliness. I was complete with her one line of support.

She bent down and pressed a small kiss on my forehead ...and before I knew it...she was gone...

I jerked myself up into a sitting position and I realized it was a dream because I was still on the floor but Raisha came to tell me what I should do. She saved me before I could drown myself in my sorrows. She was true to what I called her...Sunshine...

Since, it was a thick chilly night, I slept in the wood house and for a change that night I didn't got any nightmare. It was a good change but I'd rather to stick to having them because that's how we connect ...even if she doesn't stay...she still comes...and I know one day, she'll stay...forever and ever..