My Innocent Love

Chapter 11 She's My Soulmate

For the next three years, life went on for me just like any other person studying and even tolerating a bunch of mad species in their lives. Each one of us must bear some or other person whom we don't want to do anything with them; same was my case but I didn't have the privilege to complain because it's a situation that much be controlled with maturity not my heightened irritation with Tanya's presence around me. She was my Dad's puppet and she doesn't realize it that; her parents are in abroad for some personal reason which no one knows; beside college, she looked after the major decision of her fathers' company too in his absence while the man managed work through video conferencing calls. He doesn't have any idea what's going on in here because for the time being, he asked Dad to look after Tanya too. Poor man doesn't know that Viraj Khandelwal doesn't look after anyone but his own corrupted desires and mind which has no limitation.

Anyways, so after the sixth semester got over, before Tanya left for New Zealand, Yuvraj had dragged me to her, and instead of me, he had blasted on her face that I don't care about her and I never will, so she should stop humiliating me publicly and making a show. She had given him that sinister laugh which I assume she had learnt from Dad and had given a small nod before bidding farewell to us. But I knew better that the trouble was not over, although, I didn't dare tell anything to Yuvi.

Despite my grievances with Dad, I didn't appreciate the idea of disclosing his selfishness to the world. That thought didn't settle well with me and I knew the answer for it that even though, he didn't love me, a part of me loved him like a son and it didn't find it right, to humiliate his father in front of his best friend.

It was a personal matter; and I don't think it would have been right to discuss it in a college environment. So, I let him do, say or think whatever he wanted but inside I knew the poison would spread soon again.

But before that happened, I got the surprise as well as the most enchanting shock of my life after college reopened for the new semester.

My Raisha was back to me...my Sunshine returned to me and this time she wasn't helpless; she changed; she transformed herself into todays girl but still, her heart remained the same.

On the first meet, she ran away from me leaving me to wonder what happened to her, and in the second meet, she literally called me off as an arrogant badass girl but My Darling forgot that her Aayush was mad in love with her, and even if she donned an avatar of a witch or ghost, I would have recognized her. Her green eyes can never be shunned away as temporary memory of my life, because I've come so far only because I had her support and she had mine.

Although, I hadn't admitted it to myself that I was in love with her, but deeper, I always knew I was hopeless in her case.

She tried to piss me off as much as she wanted but honestly, I was enjoying that because it was like her need to have a friend who'd have a banter with her, and since I was her first and last choice in that option, I fulfilled her unsaid wish.

I argued with her as an irritating friend she wanted once but deeper I loved her as a lover who'd go to any lengths in fulfilling every wish of the girl who enraptured my heart and mind.

One truth is also that, despite knowing she was my Raisha, when she pretended to not be mine, then I purposely said or did things, which being my Raisha she won't like because the real Raisha will never discard her true nature in trying to be a strong hot-headed one. She doesn't insult or bad-mouth people even if they make a gash on her soul.

And her nature was how, I assured myself of her identity. I didn't need big proves to know about her; whatever I knew was more than enough to confirm who she was.

But having said that, seeing her fit and healthy, as much as it pleased me, it wounded me too, because what she had undergone in her life is unforgettable, and every time I investigated them, I felt her begging me something which I couldn't quite point.

I felt she wanted to tell me something and ask me a dozen questions; and same was my case, I wanted to know why she didn't want me to know it's her.

Whatever it was, it was troubling both of us a great deal. We knew each other; we loved each other yet we were not ready to break the barrier of the past surrounding us.

It seemed an improbable job. I didn't need any help in finding out if she loved me or not because every time, I was close to her, she had that aching and longing look on her face, and then her worry in those times, when I got hurt on my hand. The way she cried hugging me was a proof enough to know that she loved me more than I loved myself.

And suddenly, it felt every pain and the days I have waited for a positive outcome was worth. There was someone who loved me for me; including my reserved nature earlier as well and the knowledge filled me with sweetness.

Still, the pain circulated us in its full aching glory.

And it intensified, when Raisha discovered about Tanya; I swear I had wanted to take her to an island and explain her everything before she thought that I was a two-timer.

I can't deny it killed me when she considered everything between us as some sort of my revenge against Tanya.

Hell! That girl was never on my mind. I had wanted to shout to her the words that have been clogged in my throat, but there was something that always stopped me...The parasite named Viraj Khandelwal!

I was still in his scrutiny and I wasn't certain how must I bring Raisha in all this mess. It felt as if a cactus stuck me when my Sunshine became upset after I broke up with Tanya in front of college.

I actually didn't understand why I should even do when I never asked her out or for that matter, even looked at her but I get the drama she did beforehand logically made us a couple in the college.

And to end that sham, she must ditch me, or I must dump her so that the misconceptions of people would fade away. And they would stop considering me her fiancée or whatever they called it. That boyfriend-girlfriend thing really pissed me.

And funniest part is, on one side Tanya calls me her boyfriend and she still go out on dates, and kiss other people. I have never seen such a confused soul in my entire life as her. She was frustrated that I didn't cared whether she came or went so to make me jealous, she did all this.

Stereotypical woman of a cliché romance novel!

Honestly, inside my heart, I used to pray that why don't you have a wedding night somewhere too. At least I'll be spared of your games and torture. That was a creative thinking part of me! By the way!

While rehearsing for the college festival; there was lot of tension between me and Raisha. She was afraid to be on the stage and I knew the reason for it which was why I challenged her because I wanted her to perform and feel accomplished. She deserved it; my proximity affected her and so did my touch; and she didn't know that I was going insane with her silence.

What caused me a headache was the fact that if she knew it was me then why was she hiding herself from me? What was troubling her so much that she chose to hide behind a mask of fake attitude?

I'd no answers for it and I didn't got the chance to discover much because on the final dance day, the inevitable happened when I saw her hugging a man, who later I got to know was her brother.

But in that weak moment, my all rational senses flew away, the fear of what Dad would do left me, and I finally admitted to myself what was there in my soul for so many years, but I refused to acknowledge it.

I finally admitted to myself loudly, "I love Raisha. I love my Sunshine. Aayush loves Raisha. And no one would take her away from me because she's my soulmate...,"