My Innocent Love

Chapter 16 The Angel in Red...

It took two days for me to do the arrangements after Raisha used to leave for the temple; ironic, she went to the prayers for my well-being while I was planning to leave her on her own. Melancholy is what it was then. I didn't wanted Mom to also accompany but Dad insisted that I take my mother along with me otherwise they won't be in peace knowing I was juggling all alone somewhere and moreover, at least if Mom went with me Raisha will have relief knowing that I wasn't on my own. Otherwise I was certain, she'll dig every corner of the world to find me, then she will slap the crap out of me and then, she will lock me in our bedroom of course, with her. Otherwise what's the point of locking if she will stay out.

But having thought that, I knew when I will return, this thing will happen. Not sure about locking, but slap awaited me for sure. And even to be slapped by her, I will return back to her, because she only shows her anger to me, and I love that in particular.

With a heavy heart and teary farewell, I left quietly after two days in the noon before she returned; until Mom got her visa, she stayed hidden somewhere about which I had no idea. I left a recording for Sunshine to hear in which I told her what I want her to do, why I did what I did, and how much I loved her. At that time, apart from telling her that I love her, I couldn't do anything more, because wait is what we must do.

A wait that will slice our souls into two parts; it will pain; we will wither every night as we will lay on the bed, caressing the other side hoping for a miracle which would unite us, but that pain will forever remind us that its how we fell in love. Even the seven years of distance and a not so good farewell or conversations couldn't kill the love inside us, and I am certain the coming days also won't be able to do it. The world can transform; but Aayush and Raisha will never stop loving the other. We complete the other and we will forever do that no matter how many years destiny takes to unite us.

And like I knew that days were not going to change how I felt about her, it was exactly what happened when I came to Australia and a month passed living there drown in my sorrows and her memories. Mom's best friend Sheetal Aunty came to receive me; it was luck I never told Raisha much about the company I worked for and no one had any idea about the same. And even if she had, I knew she will honor my words, because there was nothing more important to her apart from me. If I ask her to climb Everest, she'll do that without argument. That's just how she was, hopelessly mine to honor my every word and sentiment for her.

Mom came after a month; at first, she seemed more than upset seeing me; but then when she told me that Shashank informed her that Raisha started college from the next day only, she understood what I had meant to do. I might be here, but I was receiving every information about her. Obviously, I can't leave my wife all alone and pretend as if she doesn't exit. I might be away, but I will be the first one to know if she is in any sort of trouble. Her success will remind me why I made this decision in the first place.

But having said that I was feeling relieved, the pain didn't subside inside me. The hollowness wasn't leaving me alone and I was going crazy because I missed her so much that sometimes I had this urge to get up in the middle of the night, book a flight home, and run back to her arms. But when I wake up sweating and panting, I greet the dead silence of the night.

I felt like crying so loudly sometimes that the maker will hear my cries and cure me magically, so that I could go back to my Sunshine and give her all the love I have stored in my heart for her. But my state is so cruel that even if I cry, I m not going to have any tears in my eyes. They were dead, and they were turning me into a zombie too. The dependency was breaking me.

It was reminding me of all those times when Sunshine was discarded by everyone and there was no one to hold her. Not even me! I was experiencing the very pain of her life when solitude circulated her. A part of me felt happy to feel the very ache my wife had gone through but the other part of me was hating this plight because it was keeping me away from my love, my soul...