Complicated

Chapter twenty five

"We're free! We're free! We're free!" Cara and I yelled as soon as we walked out of the examination hall.

It was the last week of May, indicating that high school was over and done with.

"Summer! Here we come!" Lauren, Ivy, Ava, Cara and I literally yelled in the hallway.

We all met up with our classmates Luke, Preston, Ruben, Oliver and Olivia before heading out towards the main door.

"Carmen!" I heard someone yell my name in the sea of students.

I turned around to find Holly weaving her way towards me. Behind her were Omar, Stephen and Jamie.

She grinned at me and so did I.

I told my classmates that I'd catch up with them at the main door and walked towards her.

"Hey, Holly!" I chimed.

"Hey, Carmen! So we're finally free, huh?" She asked me.

"You could definitely say that!" I exclaimed.

"Look, I know I haven't been the perfect best friend but I am sorry. I really am." She said. I could sense so much sincerity in her voice and I knew that she was being really sorry about it.

"I'm sorry too, you know? I should've understood you better. My bad. So can we leave it all behind and get back to how we were? What say?" I suggested.

"You spoke the exact words on my mind. So, yeah. We're back." She said, the both of us hugging each other.

Omar, Stephen and Jamie were grinning at us and it felt good to talk to my old classmates.

"Party at my place. Tomorrow. Eight p.m." Omar told me.

"Count me in!" I grinned at him.

I took my leave and headed towards the main door, on the way to meet my classmates.

All of them were huddled up, talking loudly and I could sense that Ivy was trolling Ruben. Like always. There wasn't a single day where she didn't troll him or pull his leg. They were the constant entertainment of any class, irrespective of the class being a boring one or an interesting one or a serious one.

I joined them and soon, I saw Calvin's beautiful(really, really beautiful) face right opposite to me. Damn it. He still wanted to talk to me. He mouthed something along the lines 'can we talk?' 

I nodded curtly and drew back from the huddle, walking to a calmer place.

I waited for him to start his apology, crossing my arms and looking all deadly.

"Um.. I wanted to apologize for everything I put you through, in the first place. My reasons for not dating you were utter bullshit. I know you are hurt and that's solely because of me. I-I didn't get into a relationship with you because I know that at one point of time, I'll give up on the relationship, I'll give up on you. It was going to break you into pieces. Not that you're not broken now. I made it look like a two way street and in the end, I backed off. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have moved so close with you. I shouldn't have done anything of that sort to you. I really am sorry for everything. I know this is too much to ask for, but I want us to get back how we were before. I missed talking to you. So much. I'm sorry, Carmen. I really am."

I looked at him all the while he was speaking, thinking about how he had the balls to even face me, thinking about how he'd broken me, how he got me to believe that it was a two way street, how he hid everything in his eyes.

Yes, I was hurt. Yes, I was broken. Yes, I was devastated. Emphasize on was.

It was all in the past. Ever since then, I had completely changed. I had grown stronger and had updated a new version of me. I wasn't naïve anymore.

I wasn't going to fall for anyone who'd put up a mask just to get on my good side. 

He shouldn't have made it look like it was a two way street. He shouldn't have kissed me. I shouldn't have let him do so. But I got carried away in the moment. I was hypnotized by him. What did he do after that? He easily backed off, acted as if nothing had happened and everything was back to normal. But it wasn't the same for me. It took a toll on me. If he was so certain that he would give upon me, he shouldn't have done all that in the first place.

I often wished that I could go back to the day we became close and just walk away because it would've saved me so much hurt and pain. He broke all the walls I'd built around me and brought out the real me. But later, he broke every piece of me and it looked like he found me just to break me. He held my hand and stole away my first kiss, making me feel that his feelings for me were real and my feelings were being reciprocated.

It was my mistake that I gave him all of me without making sure that he wanted it. My biggest mistake wasn't falling for him, it was thinking that he'd fallen for me too. 

He made me feel so worthless. I was always so cautious around guys but he, he started it and dived into my life, creating lovely waves which turned out to be disastrous. And then he left me alone. I couldn't swim. I was almost up till midnight, everyday, crying softly to myself, wondering how much more pain someone could endure. Sometimes, he made me feel that I actually had a chance with him but when I tried to take that chance, he made me realize that I never really did.

The truth? He lost me. Some day, he would look back at what we had and regret everything he did to let it end. Some day, he was going to wake up and notice that he should've tried and I was worth the fight. Some day, he was going to want me back. But she was long gone.

That night of my music fest finals, I sang 'wrecking ball' and yes, he'd guessed it right. It was about him. 

Whatever he did to me- holding my hand and kissing me and flirting with me and being cheesy around me- might not seem that much but to me, every single thing meant a lot. It meant the world to me.

I didn't know who his next victim was. Whoever it was, I pitied her a lot. I hoped that she would sense his bullshit from miles away and not let him get to her.

"Say something, please." He pleaded.

"Well, you apologized. Apology accepted. But that won't undo the damage you caused."

I wanna say so much more but, nah. 

I didn't want to waste my energy on telling him how I had become after he left me and all that I went through. It was all done and I was over it.

"I know, but say something."

"I have four words for you." I said, to which he listened eagerly.

I continued.

"Stay away from me."

With that, I turned on my feet and walked away, towards Ava and Cara.

I didn't even have to say goodbye to him because he'd already left, long back.

What was he to me? What was I to him? What were we?

Friends? 

Best friends?

Friends with benefits?

I didn't know. 

It was complicated.

But not anymore.

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Author's note:

Heyyyyyyyyyy Guyz!

Presenting you the final chapter of the book!

'Roar' by Katy Perry on top, to emphasize on Carmen's transformation.

Just the epilogue to go and we've reached the end.

Finally, I have done justice to the title and the cover of the book: Complicated and two way street. Don't ya think?

Anyways, stay tuned for the epilogue!

Keep reading!

Be right back!

Love,

Peaches;)