In Too Deep

Chapter 13

I listened to the front door latch click into place. Then, and only then, did I close my eyes.

I groaned, feeling parts of my body ache, while other parts were sore to the touch. What the hell was happening? At what point had I started to let Jared Bloody Leto own me?

I stood up gingerly, testing my legs which were still a little post-sex wobbly. The bed sheets were all over the place, pillows scrunched up; I gathered them into a pile, promising myself a big wash later when I came home.

At the foot of the bed, I caught sight of myself in the full length mirror. Christ, what on earth did he see in me. My hair was in need of a wash; more bedraggled than 'bed head' hair. And my shoulder was now purple bruised from Jared biting into me.

I took one more look, another deep breath, and headed for the shower. The hot water hit my skin, first washing off the smokiness of Shannon, then easing away the sexual tension that came hand in hand with his brother.

I stepped out, wrapping myself in a huge bath towel. I wiped the condensation from the mirror, gently pulling the comb through my hair. It would have to air dry today. I grabbed my face cream, applied some mascara and nude lippie, before checking out my wardrobe. Anonymous black it was, black Jeans, a sloppy T and biker boots.

My mind shifted to Jared again. I can't understand the power and hold he has over me. Once he's gone, that power fades and my real self returns; composed, professional and more than able to deal with the shit the world throws at you.

But fuck .... as soon as he walks back into my life, all resolve and sense heads south.

I buttoned my jeans and grabbed my bag. I'd forgotten my phone. It was lying in the bottom of my bag from last night. I remembered shoving it down, ignoring the missed calls from Shannon.

I switched it on, the screen was dead. "Shit, shit, shit." The battery had run down. I had a list of people who'd be on my back if I didn't respond immediately to messages.

Damn Jared and to hell with his demands. I grabbed the phone charger and shoved it into my bag which was characteristically full of the every day shit I carried around in my life.

I was furious with myself for not shouting out to Jess before she left for the office. I'd put sex before work for God's sake. What was I thinking. My boots were by the door. I bent over to tug them on. I removed a scrap of folded paper from inside. I turned it over and saw my name scrawled on the outside. I unfolded it.

Lexy

When you close your eyes tonight, think of me baby girl. The power I have over you is pure pleasure.

J x

I read and reread those words, part of me wanting to fight against this power/control thing he had going on. But there was something delightful about giving yourself up to someone totally; caving in to their darkest needs, pleasure giving way to pain, giving way to a deeper understanding of each other's sexual desires.

I was lost. I folded the scrap of paper and put it into a zipped pocket in my jacket. Damned man! Even when he's not here, his presence is felt.

I locked the door behind me and hopped in the car, dodging through the lunch hour traffic, hoping Jess was coping with the workload singlehandedly.

I pushed open the office door with my hip, bag slung over my shoulder and takeout coffee in each hand by way of apology. I figured it was the least I could do all things considered.

Jess had one phone glued to her ear while busily firing off a text on another. She looked up as I crashed noisily into the room.

"Yes Carrie! We're doing fine. Just do what you have to do in New York. We're more than capable of taking care of things this end." As she said this, she glanced at me, rolling her eyes. She tapped her watch ... reminding me what time it was. "Yeah sure Carrie. OK. Are you sure you don't want to talk to Lex?" She looked over with a grin on her face.