hi i'm back and already so over school bye
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"Holly, please say something." Justin pleas
I'm tired, i'm drained, i'm fucking done, i want to go back home.
"If we're going to talk about this Holly, you have to speak."
"what do i say?" I say raising my voice a little moving my hand on my forehead
"Tell me how you feel ! You haven't told me how you feel about this, you just keep asking questions."
"do you know how fucked up this is Justin?" I remind him
"I know that Holly."
"Do you Justin? Do you really? You practically have been hiding this for fucking months and never had the balls to fucking tell me. I thought you broke up with me because you never loved me anymore." my voice breaking at the last sentence, finally opening up to him
"I never said i wanted to break-"
"I have been so confused, because i literally have done nothing, for you to not want me, i literally don't even look at myself the same anymore, because i thought this," I point at myself when i say 'this' "I couldn't please you enough."
"I'm sorry Holly-May I really am, My life has been a mess without you. I'm lonely, depressed, stressed, and scared without you. I was scared that you would never talk to me again, move on and fall in love with someone else. I need you back in my life." He explains
That was cute. But there are a lot more things I need him to say before I can be sure of what to do
"I have been so confused." I say bluntly
"Elaborate."
"On this! Us! You saying you actually love me but these whole months I have convinced myself that you don't, so I don't know what to do." I already feel like i'm on the verge of crying
"what do you want to do?"
"i don't know."
"Holly-May, you do."
"what do you want me to do Justin?" I ask, giving him a chance to convince me more on what to do
"I want you to come back. To me. Forgive me and give me another chance. I know i fucked up but I also have been here for you as your friend. I always want to hold you in my arms again, it almost seems like a dream of that ever happening to me."
"Justin-"
"I love you Holly-May, I love you so fucking much it hurts to see you close but yet so far away-"
I respond to his answer by pulling him by his white plain shirt and lean in kissing him.
I don't know why I did but i wasn't thinking at the moment. i'm just thinking about how much i missed him. and how much I love him too
he jumps a little suprised and then instantly kisses back, pulling me closer to him.
i love him, i love him so fucking much.
i hate him, i hate him so much for the secrets he's been keeping from me and making a huge deal worse not for the fame but for us both.
he doesn't deserve me, the thought make me more angry and makes me pull away from
"fuck" i say backing away from him and the car
"w-what was-" he asks confused but i stop him
