That Nameless Girl (That Girl Trilogy Book 3)

C H A P T E T 18

You Should Not Hesitate to Come Inside an Umbrella Every Time It Rains

"Love is like a typhoon. It will come to your life with signals, yet you will stubbornly wait for it even if you know that it will just devastate you. As it travels along the ocean, it will just become stronger and stronger. And on the morning that it will hit you, it will pedantically scourge you. Tearing your flesh in pieces, breaking your bones, crashing your soul. Lifeless, you will swirl around its eye together with the other sharp objects that it has collected. And on the time that it will lose its energy, the typhoon will lose its form too, leaving nothing but traces of the places that it has devastated."

She sipped a small amount of vodka matapos niyang sabihin sa akin iyun. I was asking her if what does love means to her at iyun ang sagot niya. It's already December 24 at pang-apat na gabi na naming pumupunta sa lugar na ito sa CDO. It is bar called Deterdiente Barista. It's not a party house but it is a place where you can spend lavishly on alcohol. Walang limit basta ba't magbabayad ka.

Itinapon niya ang inaantok niyang mga tingin sa stage kung saan ay may kumakantang na dalawang babae. Hindi ko maintindihan ang kinakanta nila but I know that it is a sappy song. A Greenday Song. Probably an acoustic version of Wild One. Pareho silang naka-leather outfits at talagang dama-dama talaga nila ang kinakanta nila.

"If you are a typhoon then you must be love too." I told her at gumuhit sa mukha niya ang isang matipid na ngiti. It's kinda dim here in the bar pero nakita ko ng maayos ang ngiti niyang iyun. And it was really beautiful.

* * *
"I can still remember that I used to play an instrument too. A clarinet. Natutunan kong tumugtog niyun when I auditioned in the band of our school. I was a majorette, and required na atleast marunong kang gumamit ng isa sa mga instrument ng banda. Noong una, nahirapan ako pero hindi kinalaunan, nakabisado ko rin naman. It was fun. Kapag tumatagal, parang nagiging kaisa na ng katawan mo 'yung instrument. Like a writer towards a pen, like a singer towards a microphone, like a painter towards a paintbrush. It was art," aniya habang nakatingin kaming pareho sa isang mamang nagpi-play ng clarinet dito sa may gilid ng kalsada. Maraming nanunuod sa kanya at habang ginagawa niya nga iyun ay may naglalagay ng pera sa basket sa gilid niya.

"Bakit mo hindi pinagpatuloy?" tanong ko sa kanya. Thick black hair is already sprouting on her orange head pero kahit ganoon ay hindi iyun nakakabawas sa ganda niya. It's already ten pm here at dalawang oras na nga lang ay magpapasko na.

"Because of the transitions. Natatandaan kong nagpi-play ako niyun pero hindi ko na matandaan kung paano iyun gamitin. The more I experience transition, the more I become unfamiliar with the instrument. It was sad. But, I can't do anything about it. My case is helpless," aniya at tumawa siya noong mas naging lively pa ang pagpe-perform ng mama.

Like the clarinet she used to play, maaring ganoon din ang mangyayari sa akin sa kanyang perception. One day, I'll become a stranger to her too. Maaring maaalala niyang may nakilala siyang tulad ko but she will not give a fuck about it. Because everytime she experiences a transition, she moves on unhesitatingly towards a new identity, leaving everything behind, like a typhoon.

Pero gaya ng ipinangako ko sa kanya na kung sakaling makalimutan niya man ako ay hindi ako magdadalawang isip na magpakilalang muli sa kanya.

"Aside from me, may nakilala ka na bang ibang lalaki?" tanong ko sa kanya na ngayon ko lang naisip. Fuck! What if she's already married? Paano kung may anak na siya?

"I'm 24. What do you expect?"

Her answer is so cryptic na bigla akong binalot ng kaba matapos kong marinig iyun.

"Meron na, marami na, pero alam kong hindi ko naman senerysoso. Because you know, when you're young, you're stupid. 24 year's old pa lang nagiging fully developed ang utak ng isang tao and if you'd say you had already fall in love below that age, then you're wrong, maybe you are just satisfying your boredom. Falling hard happens beyond the age of 24," aniya.