Don't fall

Chapter II: Darkness

-Hi. I am Doctor Paulson, I'll be your therapist throughout level one. -Her voice echoes around the room as I admire her beauty and try my best to disguise it. She has such a sweet voice, much more sympathetic than the other people around here. If I weren't in a session of conversion therapy, I would guess that she is just a nice woman. She is very elegant and feminine, but she does not look like the conservative woman I thought I would find here; she is not wearing heels, she is wearing very gender neutral clothing and her hair is so short that it exposes her neck completely. It's almost as if she doesn't belong here.

Though surprising, her look is absolutely breathtaking. Without a doubt, she is the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. I wonder how I'm supposed to become straight with such Doctor; simply by looking at her, I already feel encouraged to practice the exact opposite of heterosexuality. She proceeds to extend her hand for me to shake, which brings even more confusion to my mind. Could it be that this woman is genuinely nice? Or is it just me, trying to find one good thing about this place?

-Rosa Hernández. -As I lean in to shake her hand, I admire her beauty better, now that she's closer. Her eyes are brown and mesmerizing, her lips are thick and appealing and her white skin is slightly freckled. We shake hands and she smiles gently. Where the fuck am I?

-Nice to meet you, Miss Hernández. -She says before she starts reading through her clipboard. -First day, huh? Well that makes us two. -She crosses her legs, puts down the clipboard on her lap and reaches into the pocket of her white lab coat, pulling out a pen. -Whenever you're ready...

-Where should I start? -I ask nervously, intimidated by her beauty.

-It's up to you. -From time to time, there is a slight lisp that comes out with her voice. It's absolutely adorable.

-I never had any kind of therapy... I must say, I am very confused. -My words provoke a small grin on her and my heart absolutely melts with her smile.

-Well... You could start with how you got here.

I look over at her clipboard and see my name on a file. We share a look as she sees that I've read the file.

-Why do people keep asking me things that they already know? -I joke with a soft voice as I start to become less and less uptight.

-No, I... -She chuckles, looking down. -I want to hear it from you. This, this right here, it's just a document. -She points at the file and says it with a gentle yet professional voice. -I want to know the story from your words.

-Okay... -I nod and take a deep breath as she clicks her pen and lays it on the surface of a blank sheet of paper on the clipboard. -It was a regular day, there was nothing too special about it... I was home from class and I brought a girl over. She wasn't particularly pretty or nice, but when you live in a town with no known gays in a 500 kilometer radius, you take whatever chance you have. My parents were out at work, as usual, so we went to my bedroom.

-Was that your first time bringing a girl over? -Her voice sounds much more serious now.

-No... -I blurt out laughing, mockingly as I remember the many times that I did that thing. Soon, I realize that I have just established without any kind of discretion my active sex life to not only a woman I have just met and my conversion therapist, but also a woman that I find extremely attractive. I clear my throat and bite my lip, trying not laugh at my own stupidity and repeat, with a serious voice. -No... It wasn't the first time.

-Go on... -She writes something down quickly and looks over at me again.

-We were... Um... Doing things... And then, my father showed up and started yelling. Apparently, my parents came home early because it was their anniversary. -I look down and start fidgeting with my hands, trying to avoid eye contact and any further embarrassment. -I didn't know because my parents and I were never close, we didn't share many words. But I absolutely gave them an unforgettable anniversary gift. -I joke, trying to disguise my discomfort in remembering the story. -In the first ten minutes, my main focus was to get that girl out of my apartment, before something happened to her. As soon as I closed the door, after she was out, I turned around and...