Don't fall

Chapter XVII: Professor

For the first time in my life, I feel unable to conceal my own feelings. Sister Theresa can see me shaking, I know she can. Fuck.

-I see you two are here, together. -Sister Theresa says with a threatening tone. -I guess there is only one thing to be done. -She pauses for seconds, but it feels like hours are going by as her voice echoes and makes the room feel smaller and heavier with each breath that I take. -Doctor Paulson. -She turns to Sarah. -I assume you must be aware of Miss Hernández's underwhelming behavior and performance here in the academy. And I'm certain you must know why. -Sarah glances at me calmly. I can tell she's desperate and that she knows that in a matter of seconds from now, unspeakable things may happen to her. -In fact, you might just be the only person who knows why, as her doctor, you have access to information that no one else has. And that is why Sister Monica sent me here; to suggest tutoring.

-What? -Sarah tries to hold back the shock and surprise in her voice as I feel violently thrown off of my cloud of desperation with the shift in the room's energy.

-Well, she believes you have many free hours in your shifts and that it would be very beneficial for Miss Hernández if you assisted her, here in the library.

Sarah and I exchange looks. What the fuck? We begin to wonder simultaneously if any of this is real and our anxieties drop after we finish spending the absolute most stressful minute of our lives.

-I... -Sarah says, still confused by her own state of shock. -Of course, I could try my best to help Miss Hernández, but I'm curious as to how it'd be beneficial. After all, I'm not a teacher.

-According to Sister Monica, your patient seems to be very... -Sister Theresa looks at me. -Skeptical. I think we can all tell that she's not fond of religion.

-I have no idea of what you're talking about, I love that stuff. -I joke as Sarah holds back her smile.

-Anyway, we believe that with help of things such as psychology, she might improve. -The nun continues after rolling her eyes at my joke. -It may be an irregular way of doing things, but it has happened in the past and it has shown results. If you wish, Sister Monica would be open to discuss the details of extra payments and the methodologies with you later today. However, you could start right now, in case you are already comfortable with that idea.

Sarah looks at me for a moment and takes a deep breath, as if she's thinking about making a potentially very stupid and dangerous, yet fun decision. Which she is.

-Sure. -She shoots a word quickly and gathers her papers, moving them to my table.

-You are doing God's work, specially by helping someone like this one. -Sarah and I stop to look at Sister Theresa. -She might just be one of the worst girls we have ever gotten in the academy.

-Gracias. -I say with a smile and the nun walks away, annoyed.

-Holy shit. -Sarah whispers slowly as she sits down by my side.

-I know, right? -I whisper back. -They're fucking dumb.

-Or really fucking smart. -She smiles. -This whole thing could be just a plan to freak us out. It has to be. -She chuckles quietly.

-If it is, it worked so well. -I smile.

-So well. -Sarah smiles too. -So, "worst one ever", shall we begin?

-I'm not the worst one. -I say softly. -She just said that to piss me off, as if I care.

-As far as she knows, you're really not. But if she knew about us...

-What if we're not the first ones to do this?

-Oh, someone's getting really brave. 1 hour ago Sarah would never say that in public. -I joke.

-1 hour ago Sarah wasn't scared by an angry nun that could potentially ruin her life. Yolo, I guess. -She shrugs and I try my best not to laugh. -But since you have brought that up, I do believe we shouldn't talk too much.

-How are you supposed to tutor me if you won't speak? -I tease.

-If someone overhears even a single questionable word, we're fucked.

-Makes sense, but my point remains the same. -I tease with a smirk.

She groans quietly and looks up.

-What were you reading? -She asks me in a slightly louder tone, not fearing that someone might overhear it.

I slide the book across the table towards her and she stares at the cover. It's dreadful, I know. She picks it up and gives it a quick look, rapidly scanning through pages.

-Read the first three chapters while I fill these out. -She puts the book down in front of me and organizes her documents. -We'll talk about them after you're done. -She looks at me and clicks her pen.

-Okay. -I nod softly and smile just a little.

This book has got to be the worst thing I have ever read, and I have made many deep dives on Tumblr; how did someone manage to make an actual book worse than 12 year olds ranting about how rabies is a sexuality/gender? I have no idea, but although this book is an absolute piece of shit, every time my arm bumps accidently into Sarah's, my heart flutters and I feel happier than I ever thought I could be. God, I love her. Sometimes, I stop reading and I just look at her, admiring how cute she looks while she's concentrated, until she notices and gives me a subtle push with her elbow, smiling. After about 20 minutes, I was finally done, but before I could say anything, she got up:

-Time's up. -She whispers as I realize that my daily break is over. -You should get going to class or prayer session. I don't really have your schedule down. -She giggles.

-Neither do I. See you tomorrow, Doc? -I get up and grab my things.

-Yes, Miss Hernández. -She stops and smiles for a minute.

-Okay then. Goodbye, "teach". -I leave before I see her reaction, but I know she found the nickname quite amusing.

As I walk down the halls, making my way to the academy's church, I still feel some leftovers of the chills that being next to Sarah gave me. Being with her, even if it's just for a little, it saves me from any negative feeling I could possibly have. And now, we're being forced to spend time together; what a crazy fucking world we live in. Wrapping up my day, throwing myself on the bed, I closed my eyes, and for the first time, I felt like I could sleep. Really sleep. Hours went by and I didn't even notice.

-Hey? Earth to Rosa? -Sarah laughed and I snapped off my thoughts.

-Woah... -I said as I remembered a new day had already come, and I'm now at therapy.

-Bad trip? -Sar jokes.

-Shut up, I'm not high. -I chuckle.

-What do you mean, you're always high. I only see you at peak sobriety when, ironically, you're drunk.

-Okay, so I might be a little weird... Maybe you could teach me to be normal. -I tease.

-Fuck all the way off. -She rolls her eyes and laughs. -I might just give you detention. -She gets up and walks away from her chair.

-I kind of wish you would... -I get up and follow her.

-Wait a fucking second... -She says and turns around before I can reach her. -You got a kink for teachers? -Sar asks in a provocative voice as she walks in my direction.

-What? No. -I try to laugh it off as I slowly step away.

-Really? Because I happen to remember that a little birdie told me that your first crush was on a teacher... -She keeps up with her tone.

-I knew I shouldn't have told you that... -I chuckle as my back meets my chair and I sit, without any room left to walk away from Sarah.

-I told you I'd make fun of you for that. -She keeps moving in my direction and sits on my lap with a sexy laugh. I know that laugh.

-What the fuck are you doing, teach? -I whisper as she gets even closer.

-Just a little detention for the worst student ever... -She smiles and slowly kisses me.