Don't fall

Chapter XXIII: Bow

         I keep rolling around in bed, waiting to fall asleep. Why can't I just sleep? Sarah isn't here... That's why. I get up and stretch, hoping that my back pain would go away. It's 5am... What the fuck am I supposed to do? I guess I should be early for once; I get my bathroom kit and walk slowly and quietly to the showers. I start running the water and take my clothes off. I shower for a couple of minutes and hear someone opening the door. I try to not be bothered by the noise, knowing that other girls wake up early for showers every day, though it is early as fuck, still.

-Dear Lord, help me and guide me towards the light. -I hear a familiar voice pray.

-You pray in the bathroom? Girl, chill. -I mock, knowing who it is.

-I'm not praying. -She laughs. -I'm asking for God's guidance.

-What for?

-Well, I was raised to be a very Christian and very good girl, but all I wanna do right now, is steal your clothes and get the fuck out. -She jokes.

-You know I'd never forgive you. -I laugh.

-Eh, it'd be worth it.

-Really? After all... -I wrap my towel around by body and open the curtain, facing Claire as she sits on the sink. -I'm your only friend.

-Not true... -She chuckles as I get dressed in a bathroom stall.

-Oh, she'd side with me and we both know that. -I smile at myself, thinking about Sar.

-I'm not talking about her.

-Then who are you talking about? -I get out of the stall, fully dressed and begin to dry my hair with the towel as I look at Claire.

-Sister Theresa. -She says in a serious tone.

We both stop moving or making any noise and stare at each other for a solid minute. Suddenly, we simultaneously burst into laughter, cackling obnoxiously.

-You are so wrong for that. -I say gasping for air.

-What? I mean it. -She tries to stop laughing.

-Oh, fuck you. -I chuckle.

We calm down as I tighten my tie and attempt to neaten my hair.

-How did you even know I was here? -I ask.

-I was watching the halls... Checking things. It's part of my job.

-Hm... Do you know what I was thinking before I went to bed last night?

-Not really... What?

-About how we've been talking all this time, planning my escape and... Ignoring yours. -Her smile fades away slowly as I speak. -And how you never bring it up. We forgot about it and you're glad we did. Why? Do you like it here? I don't get it.

-It's complicated. -She sighs.

-I wanna hear it. -I say and she glances at me. -I do.

-I have never known anything else. I have never seen what life is like outside this town, and it's been almost twenty years since I've been outside this academy. How am I supposed to leave?

-I know that what I'm about to say, isn't what you're looking for, but it's truthful; just leave. -I comfort her and she smirks slightly. -I know it's scary, but it's what you need. I hated leaving Mexico. The anticipation, the agony, the anxiety... But it was what I needed. And so I left. The difference here is that I went to a worse place and you are going to a better one.

-Where? -She scoffs.

-Well, anywhere you want. We're thinking New York and it'd be cool to have you with us but you could easily do L.A, San Francisco, Guantanamo, I don't know... -She giggles again, and I rest easy.

-Anywhere I want?

-Anywhere you want.

-Let's focus on you. For now. We can talk about me...

-Today. -I interrupt and she tilts her head at me. -Tomorrow?

-That works for me. -She bites her lip and I hug her.

-Okay then, blondie.

We do a quick goodbye fist bump and she leaves.

Suddenly, I feel someone hitting my leg.

-Ouch? -I wake up.

-Did you just sleep? You did not just sleep. She just slept. -Claire turned away in shock.

-My back hurts, can't we just take a break or something? -I ask as I grunt and stretch.

-No, we cannot. -Claire says with a smirk.

-Are you just gonna let her torture me like that? -I turn to Sarah.

-Hun, the only reason why I'm not "torturing" you myself is because she's way more qualified. -She laughs.

-Alrighty then! -Claire says all cheery. -Where were we?

-I don't know. Jesus and crap. -They both give me a disapproving look. -Look, I'm Latina. My parents made sure that I could basically quote the whole ass bible from memory growing up; why am I getting classes? From the school and the both of you?!

-It's not about knowing religion; any common bitch can memorize the "nailed to a cross" story. What you need is to learn how to think and interpret like they want you to. -The short one sighs, smiling.

-Do I really need classes for that though?

-Yeah, because you're a stubborn little bitch. If they ask you what you think about homosexuality, you have to answer "correctly" with no hesitation, and we all know that you're not ready to do that just yet. -Sar raises her glasses.

-I've lied before. I've made people believe I was straight for 16 years.

-We're not giving you credit for that. Those people around you were just blind, that's all. -Sarah chuckles.

-It really is very explicit. -Claire looks at me up and down. -Speaking of...

-Oh, no. Don't tell me I have to change my appearance too. -I cover my face with both hands.

-Oh, please tell me she has to change her appearance too. -The doctor says in excitement, knowing how much it would annoy me.

-Well... A skirt wouldn't hurt. -Claire lets out, making Sarah laugh. -Maybe a hair bow.

-A what?!

-C'mon, you'd look so cute. -Sar teases.

-Look, if you wear the damn skirt and the stupid bow, I'll give you one day a week with no classes whatsoever.

-I can't fuck with the bow.

-A small one? -Sar negotiates.

-I'll wear a bandana, but that's the best you're getting out of me.

They exchange looks and we make the agreement. Fuck. I'm gonna be a lil' schoolgirl.