Don't fall

Chapter XX: The end

     This year has been the most confusing year I have ever gone through in my entire life. And what moment can sum that thought up better than this one? I, Rosa Hernández, am running faster than ever inside the conversion academy I live in, chasing a nun that just saw me kissing my conversion therapist, which is information that could destroy my life in seconds. Now... Now is the moment to ask myself "how did I end up here?". As we run around the academy, I thank God that it's still therapy time and there's no one around to see. I have to catch her; I just do. But... What happens if I do catch her? Suddenly, Sister Claire stops running and walks calmly by a hall, as if nothing was happening. I keep running but realize just before passing by the hall that she probably walked by it because there are people there. I try to stop running before I reach it, having to throw myself on the floor, sliding across it on my knees for a few inches. Somehow, I manage to stop before anyone sees me. I sigh in relief and look straight ahead, seeing Sister Claire; she already passed by the hall and she's running again. Fuck, I still gotta reach her. I get up and walk quickly by the hallway, glancing at the nuns in it. That was a close one.

I keep running, wondering how a nun can be so fucking fast. She's young and all, but how? She's like a fucking race car. Eventually, we reach the dorms, and I can see her running straight to Sister Monica's office. I feel my legs burning, my body begging me to stop as the adrenaline wears off. It's over. I'm done. Sarah is... Sarah. She tried to chase her, but I didn't let her. This is my responsibility. If I fail... It's over for me. It's over for her... I force myself to keep running as I remember the reason why I'm chasing her in the first place. I take hard steps, running somehow faster than before. With huge effort, I finally reach her, grabbing her arm with one hand and opening the door of my room with the other. I throw her in and enter, closing the door behind us. I face the door, clinging to the doorknob and trying to catch my breath as I hear Sister Claire trying to catch hers behind me. Reality hits: I caught her. Now, what?

-Look... -I say with a shaky voice, breathing heavily. -We can talk this through. Let's just talk. -I try to seem nice, turning away from the door and facing her for the first time.

She remains silent, bracing herself with a frightened look on her face.

-Now... What you saw there; not what it seems.

-I know what I saw. -She says in a defensive tone.

-Really? -I bend down and put my hands on my knees, breathing like crazy. -Please tell me, what do you think you saw?

In response, she rushes to the door and I grab the doorknob before she does.

-You might be faster, but I can take you. Believe me. -I say staring into her eyes.

She takes a few steps back and sits on the back of the room, hugging her legs, knees against her chest. I sit with my back against the door and we enter a stare contest, waiting for someone to say something.

-You think I'm fucking her. -I say breaking the silence. -You think that Doctor Paulson and I are hooking up. -She remains silent, still shocked. -We're not. It's more than that. Have you ever been in love, Sister Claire?

-What you have isn't love, it's...

-Yeah, I know. -I interrupt with an angry voice. -Now, just answer the damn question. -I say calmly and she doesn't answer. -I know you're a nice person. Somehow, deep inside you, there's a good person in there, somewhere. Do you know how I know that? Because of the day that Laura Banks died.

-You don't know me. -She whispers looking down.

-I know you could have told someone what I did, I know you should have told someone what I did... But you didn't. Why?