Don't fall

Chapter XI: Nickel

      Every morning feels like a dream. Every second I spend with her feels like a dream. Every night I'm alone feels like a nightmare. It kills me to know that this relationship has no future. It kills me even more when I think of how much I love her and how much of her own life she's missing by being with me. If this ends... When this ends, I'll have no idea of what to do to myself. I do worry about her right now, and I'll always worry about her, but I can't get rid of the thought of what's going to happen to me without her. Since I met her, she's been the only reason for me to stay alive. I feel so stupid. How can I love someone this much? Is this normal? Fuck, will I ever stop with the questions?

-What's on your mind? -I hear her soft voice calling for me, interrupting my thoughts.

-What? -I ask with a confused voice.

-You frown slightly when you're thinking. It happens every single time. -She says with a smile as she readjusts her posture to take a better look at me.

-I do not. -I say with a grin and an offended tone.

-You absolutely do. It's actually very cute.

-Stop. -I smile embarrassed and look away.

-Tell me. -She smiles, grabs my chin and turns my face to her again. -What's on your mind?

-Bird Box.

-Oh, really? What part are you on?

-I am two pages away from the end.

-And what are you doing here with me instead of reading it? -She asks playfully shocked, climbing on my lap.

-It's a great book -I sit up with her. -but you're better.

I hug her and quickly lay down again, bringing her with me. We kiss for a while and she starts playing with my hair.

-You actually have no idea of how much being considered better than a good book means to me. -She jokes.

-Geek. -I chuckle.

She smacks my face playfully while laughing and gets up from the bed.

-So, Chinese or pizza? -She asks putting her robe on.

-Which one do you want?

-It's your turn to pick.

-It is absolutely not.

-Rosa, I literally picked last night and the night before that... And the night before that and the night before that.

-Well, see how much you enjoy picking? -I get up and put my hands around her waist.

-No, no, it's your turn. -She grabs my face and smiles.

-Not fair, you always pay for it, you should at least get to pick.

-Liar! You always rush in front of me to pay for it.

-The point is, you always offer to pay.

-But I never do.

-But you would if you were faster.

-Okay, I have had enough of this. -She chuckles as she walks away from me and quickly makes her way outside the room. In about ten seconds she comes back with a nickel on her hand.

-I don't think that's enough to pay us dinner. -I joke badly, but she still laughs as usual.

-Heads is Chinese, tails is pizza.

She flips the coin in my direction and I catch it right before it lands. I place the coin on my arm and show her the results.

-Okay... Now: Domino's or Pizza Hut? -She jokes to tease me and in response I just grunt and fall back on the bed as she laughs while dialing the phone.