petrichor

The Resolution

Pandora

She looked at the photograph taken six months ago. Where she was smiling in the picture, with Luke by her side, placing his hand on her shoulder. Both of them had cotton candy bits stuck on their face. It was a sunny day in the amusement park.

Now what's left was only memory. She sighed and rubbed her temples in frustration. Why would he do this? Pandora thought. And started sorting out her boyfriend's things again. Her head thumping every time she moved.

She riffled with Luke's old things. From old books to vinyl records. Every time she held one of them, she felt a sharp pang of nostalgia. She heaved a sigh, she wanted those items to disappear forever, so she could never remember them again.

It all began a year ago on Christmas eve when she started dating him, when he confessed his love in a game of Truth or Dare in a party at a friend's house. Luke had always been the type of boy Pandora dreamed of; messy hair, good taste in music, a sense of humor, of course she said yes immediately. It was a wonderful evening for both of them.

They were from separate schools, the only time they could meet was when they volunteered in the public library as shelving assistants. Pandora never told anyone about Luke at school, she thought it would be better if she kept it a secret. And now she was glad, she didn't want anyone sharing their fake condolences.

Over time, they became more fond of each other. They would laugh, share jokes, or tell each other stories. Luke was the type of person who would listen to everyone's rants and give advice in return. He was also the type of person who was good with words, or another word for eloquent.

The photograph, which Pandora was holding was when they were having fun at the amusement park together. She remembered herself screaming as she rode the rollercoaster. She recalled the time when Luke scored her a stuffed dog in a game of ring toss, and she kissed him in the cheek afterwards. Luke's warm laughter echoed in her head, she wished she could her them again, even if it's only for once.

But then out of nowhere, Luke started to withdraw himself from everyone. He started skipping the library volunteering session, which resulted in more work for Pandora and the fact that she was lonely. And then he would stop answering her calls, or he would abruptly end it after five or ten minutes.

Pandora knew something was wrong with him, but every time she asked, he would only answer "Oh, no. I'm fine, really." And start on a new topic. But deep down, she knew something was seriously off. And two weeks later, she was right.

She woke up at three AM to the sound of her phone ringing, it was Luke. "Hello? Luke?" She answered groggily. But the one who answered wasn't her boyfriend - it was a woman's voice - crying. "Yeah, hello? Who's this?" She asked again. The woman on the phone answered with a shaky voice. "It's about Luke."

Pandora's senses perked right up. "What happened?!" She asked, alarmed. The woman on the other line, had her voice shakier than ever. "He, he died." She said finally. "He shot himself. He shot himself-" But Pandora had already turned her phone off.

Every part of her brain went numb as if it turned itself off. Pandora couldn't even think anymore. She found herself chanting the name Luke over and over again. She wanted to run outside to the driveway, and shout his name until the ones in the heavens above heard her. She squeezed the stuffed dog from Luke so hard, her hands hurt. In desperation, she buried her head in the pillow and tried to sleep.

In the morning, it was time for Luke's funeral. The weather didn't help Pandora's feelings either, the sky was gray and the clouds looked as if it was going to rain any second. Her eyes were still puffy from crying as the mourners continued to arrive in the yard. They shared their condolences to her, she nodded absentmindedly. She still can't believe that her boy would do this.

A week later, Luke's parents asked her if she would like to look and sort through his things. At first, she declined as she wanted to everything that has to do with him in the past, but eventually, she relented. Now she was here, in her room, with her dead boyfriend's stuff, sorting them out as if nothing had happened.

Pandora stared blankly at the wall and sighed. Why did he choose to die? Said a little voice in the back of her head. It's because no one tried to stop him. The voice answered again. So, if I help him, maybe, by looking out for him, would he still be alive? She thought. "Yes." She said softly.

She thought of other people who lost their loved ones from suicide, did they feel the same thing as her when they hear the news? Just then, something clicked in her head. She was being selfish. She was here, in her room, thinking about herself, when maybe somewhere in someplace, someone committed suicide. And they had no one to help them. She thought.

So what can I do? Pandora said in her head. "Help them, you dumbass." She said to herself. "But how?" She said again. Suddenly a piece of paper fell out of her Luke's paper folder, it was a brochure. Pandora picked it up and read it. The title read "Suicide Help Center". So, he was actually trying to seek help after all. She thought, as she furrowed her brows.

She looked at the paper and it's big fat titles. Slowly, an idea started forming in her head. Then suddenly, as if she was struck by lightning, he raised her arms triumphantly. "Yes!" She exclaimed. "I'm going to make a support group. Starting tomorrow. At school." She said quietly. She thought of Luke's face, and imagined herself by his side. She felt like crying again. "Don't worry." She said. "I'll make sure no one suffered the same fate like you and I."