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BEAU Bakery

Natasha

Throughout the week, nothing eventful had happened to Natasha. Everything was just a big pile of "ok I guess" according to her. Well, everything was okay except for her mom and Darren that was. Everything was fine at school, but not at home.

Every night, she wrote in her book, wishing for a miracle to happen. God, I know this wish is far fetched and all, but I wish they could just divorce already. Better yet, let him die. She was so tired of Darren's behaviour towards her and her mom, she was bold enough to wish for him to die. Let him die then throw his corpse to a pack of rabid dogs. Natasha thought.

Natasha remembered the short period of time where after her dad's death, both of them were busy recovering from it. Natasha thought that she and her mom would live together as a two, but then came Darren. Vera met Darren in a club one night after he bought her a drink. The two of them would then meet up on some nights, causing them to grow closer.

When Darren was first introduced to Natasha, he was friendly as he'll ever be. The first times when they met, Darren bought her presents, which she now threw away, or burned. She didn't want those gifts anyway, even if it was the most expensive item ever.

Time passed, and her mom eventually fell for him. They started meeting more often, sometimes until late night where Natasha was left alone, sometimes peering out the window for Vera to get home. In the morning, her mom would gush about how amazing and nice she is. "Dia baik banget, Tasha (He's so nice, Tasha)." Natasha recalled her mom's remark about him.

Even though her mom was madly in love with him, it didn't hide the fact that Natasha was suspicious about Darren. He seemed so friendly and nice, it seemed so unnatural. Whenever Natasha was invited to have dinner together with Vera and Darren, an odd feeling always appeared in her chest. Masa papa bisa diganti sama dia (How can papa be replaced by him)? Natasha asked herself one night. To her, her dad was irreplaceable.

Her suspicions were proved correct a month after the wedding. Natasha was still shocked when her mom announced the wedding plan, so she was even more shocked when the first fight happened. She thought that the fight was merely because they were newlyweds, but no. Turns out, Darren, who was sweet when they first met, turned out to be a monster that destroyed all of Natasha's soul.

She remembered when the first yelling erupted. It was ten thirty pm at night after she finished staying up late for doing her homework. Suddenly, there was a loud shouting, then a scream, then a loud thud, like a body being slammed on the ground. At first, Natasha couldn't work out what was happening, but after a while, she realized what had happened; her mom had married the worst person in the world.

The first time she cut herself was when Vera and Darren were married for three months. The fight got so bad, she heard two plates crashing. Natasha leaned her head against the bedframe, surely there's a way for the pain to escape her head. That's when she saw the thing, the cutter knife. It's tip sharp, surface gleaming, and most of all, she needed an outlet to channel the pain in her head into something physical. And a wound was just what she needed.

Maybe, she could've just grabbed a pen and paper and scribble indescribable things in it, but she didn't want that. She wanted pain. Natasha wanted to slice up her wrists until she could die of blood deficiency, anything was better than having to live in a house with her stepdad.

Natasha took the cutter knife slowly, her breath ragged from crying. Slowly, she let the blade touch her skin, it felt cold. Then little by little, she ran the blade along her wrist, and just like that, the first trickles of blood appeared. She winced at the pain, but she liked it.