petrichor

Awake Again

Vera

For two weeks, she lived in constant regret. Why didn't I notice that she was suffering? was all she could think about her daughter. As days passed by, her movements began going slower until she did everything as if she was in autopilot mode. Vera still remember that night, when a girl named Riley knocked on their doorstep, demanding her to check on Natasha.

"It's urgent, please!" the girl pleaded. At first, she was confused, who was this teenage girl, banging on the front door, looking out of breath as if she had just run for miles, acting as if her daughter was in danger? Nevertheless, she obeyed her words and to her shock, Vera found Natasha inside the bathtub, wrists bloody, and barely conscious.

When the doctors examined Natasha, she found the scars on her daughter's wrist, not just the ones, but the old ones too and it was enough to make her cry. Why did she not notice it? Now she knew why her baby had always insisted on wearing multiple elastic bands on her hands and long-sleeved shirts even on hot days, it's so that her own mom won't see it, but why didn't she ever grow suspicious of that behavior?

Vera knew that Natasha had always disapproved her marriage with Darren, but she was always hanging to the thought that someday, somehow, her husband would change from the person he was now into a good father and husband like he'd promised her when he said his wedding vows. But after that night, Vera had to admit she was wrong, and that she was better off without him.

She quickly filed the divorce papers and without wasting any time, Vera dumped Darren's stuff into boxes and hauled them in a U Haul truck. Her husband yelled at her when he eventually found out and said that she was insufferable and other not-so-nice words, but Vera kept a straight face, she had to stay strong for herself and Natasha.

I wish I had done this sooner. but regrets were only regrets. When her daughter wakes up, Vera hoped that she would forgive her as she almost couldn't forgive herself.

Natasha

Where am I? Natasha opened her eyes and saw only what seemed like puffs of white clouds all around her, there was nothing and no one else in sight except her alone. Her body felt light, so light she felt like she was floating. Where am I? she thought again, what is this strange place? Everything around her was eerily quiet, there was no sound to be heard, she felt like she was trapped in a void.

Suddenly, she heard an ethereal voice call out her name, "Natasha.". Natasha turned her body, trying to see where it was coming from. The voice sounded so familiar, like she had heard it somewhere once before, a long time ago before she stopped hearing it again. Who are you? she wanted to say, but no voice came out of her throat.

"Natasha." the voice said again, this time she could hear it more clearly. She turned her head to the side again and saw her dad, standing in front of her looking younger than she had ever seen in her entire life. "Papa..." she managed to croak, she couldn't believe it, was this real? "What are you doing here?"

Instead of responding, he just smiled, "Hm, I think I should be the one asking you, what are you doing here?"

Natasha thought for a moment, surely, she had to be somewhere before she got transported to this "place", right? "Coba kamu pikir, Netty (Try and think, Netty)." Her dad offered her to.

Okay. she tried to recall what happened. Before, everything was dark, but before that...then it hit her. The silver medal from the competition, the fight her mom and Darren had, the feeling of hopelessness that had washed over her that finally caused her to--- "I used the blades." Natasha said finally.

Her dad looked at her as if he couldn't believe what she had just said. "Now I think the question right now is, why would you do that?"

Natasha assumed that tears didn't exist in a setting as bright and serene as this, but she found herself crying, "I don't, I don't know, it's almost like I got no reason to live." her dad frowned, "No reason to live, hm?"