Bullied By Them, Loved The Other

What have I done?

I saw her legs. They were covered in scars some looked much worse than others. I did this. I did this to her. I told her to kill herself all because of what her just being herself? I'm such a fucked up person. She only accepted my apology just to be nice, but I know deep down inside that she still hated me and the person I was.

We ended up getting pizza after I was begging everyone to go. Mariah sat at a completely opposite table from us with Tony. "How come they're not sitting over here with us?" Mike asked for me. "Ahh just let the two lovers have their privacy. Who knows what happened between them anyways." Vic said with a questioning look on their face. "We'll from what I understand they used to date...before we left for that 18 month tour. They were like best friends but when we left for tour she left him when that article came out." I explained to Vic and Mike the whole course of events beginning to end. "Dude how do you know all this?....she barely talks." Vic agreed with Mike only to practically restate what he said. "I just paid close attention." I said putting my head down and running my hand through my hair.

I took a drink of my beer and choked it down. Vic looked at me with a concerned look. "Hey man are you okay?" I nodded my head and drank some more "Yeah I'm fine."

The pizza came and Vic's pasta. "How's Mr. Special's pasta?" Mike said while chomping down on another slice of pizza. "Mr. Special likes his special pasta especially with the special sauce." He said while shaking his eyebrows. "Yeah this got weird quick" I declared.

There was one slice of pizza left which I let Vic have. Usually I always take the last slice. "Dude are you sure you're okay? You just gave away the last slice of pizza..." Mike Mike Mike.... where do I begin? "I'm fine." I got up and went outside and sat on the bench in front of the restaurant. I needed to cool off and relax a little. I know she had a very shitty past but maybe I wasn't the reason? I tried to convince myself that there had to be other contributing factors.

I heard footsteps nearing me and they plopped down next to me. "The fucks going on with you? And don't say 'uuuuuuhhh Im fine' because I know you're not." Mike demanded answers and so I told him everything. I had to get it all off my chest.

I told Mike about how Lí felt about all this. "Dude we all apologized and she said she accepted our apology, you can try talking to her again if that'll help." Mikes suggestion stayed in my thoughts. "Yeah that's gonna have to work." I said nodding

"Mike do you really feel sorry about all this?" Mike rested his knees on his laps and breathed heavily. "I mean I know the things I've said and done were horrible and I'm sorry I did those things...she'll live with that stuff forever" I've only seen this side of mike like twice before. "Dude her legs were covered in scars, what if I caused that? What if it's worse than just cutting?" I was so ashamed in myself. "You won't know until you confront her."

Me and like walked back in and we payed our bill, Tony said he'd stay at the restaurant longer with Mariah. Those two haven't been seen without each other since they reunited. I mean it's understandable, when I was hurting them both they were best friends.

"Dude so whats been going on with you?" You've been acting different." I gave out a long sigh, I might as well tell him; he'll find out at some point. "I saw Mariah's legs....and I think I might've caused it" more weight was lifted off my shoulders. "At least you're not the only person dwelling on that too, I've been thinking about that since we apologized." Me and Mike were shocked this was coming from Vic. "Well I hope you both also remember that she had a shitty life so it might not have been us..." Mike reminded us. How could he have no remorse? "Do you think she still cuts?" I asked. "There's no way to tell" Vic said with his ow red watery eyes.