Because I love you.

Chapter Twenty Five: Just as beautiful.

After a good night's sleep I feel rested. My mum can take today off so we go shopping, she wanted to get me my outfit for the concert. I stick to black white and grey but allow patterns, the entirety of the album covers are that colour scheme so I'd like to think it would suit the occasion.

"You look beautiful." My mum says as I walk out of the dressing room. I spin around and smile, it's just warm enough to wear a dress so I go with a grey and black skater dress, the skirt is black and the top is a dark grey. It is a strange dress in my opinion, it's as if the dress is knitted, either way it's very warm. I get some black tights and some black heeled boots before we have lunch.

"So, are you excited?" My mum asks.

"Is that even a question? It's a dream come true!" I say happily. "How did you get the tickets anyway?" I ask.

"Alex, a friend from work knows the venue owner. The tickets aren't that expensive, but they're hard to get." She says.

"Well I promise, it's the best birthday present I could have asked for." I say, sighing happily. We finish lunch and head home, I hang my clothes up and my mum and I watch a movie on the sofa. The movie isn't too good so I zone out, thinking about Evan and his sofa. I should have known not to go.

"You okay? Tired?" My mum asks.

"Yeah, sorry, but I want to be awake for the concert, I think I'm going to sleep early." I say sympathetically.

"Yeah of course baby, go sleep." She says. I smile and go to my bed; I lie facing a wall, just staring at it. I am a bit tired but I don't sleep, this time last night I was probably watching peter pan, or at least the beginning. Strangely now I have the urge to be held, but by Jacob. When I realise I shoot the thought down instantly, I can't just switch between them; it's not fair.

I stop thinking by listening to music; as long as it is just loud enough I can listen to something slow and slow my brain down long enough to sleep. It's something I haven't done for a while but it truly helps.

I wake up to a text from what I recognise as Jacob's number but I ignore it, I don't even read it, I just delete the whole conversation. I have breakfast and have another nap; I really want to stay awake for the concert. My mum goes to work so when my alarm goes off for me to start getting ready I only have a note that she left, saying that she hopes I have a good time.

It starts to rain as I get ready, I don't mind, my soul still hurts and it helps. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond happy to go to this concert but I feel broken in a way; so my heart isn't fully in it, it hurts because this has been a dream of mine for so long.

As I walk to the underground the rain soothes me. It is so refreshing; I can get out of my head. I swipe my oyster card and get on the tube, it is quite empty and I get to sit down but it is still loud from a hen party in the next carriage, I just listen to the music I will hear live and I smile. It doesn't take long to get to my stop. I follow the directions to a small ish bar, it's down a few small roads and is nice and quiet other than the talking of the others waiting.

"Drink?" The barman asks as I walk in. I smile and walk to the left where he is.

"Whiskey on the rocks, none of the crap stuff." I say with a smile.

"My kind of girl." He says with a kind Irish accent. I laugh and watch as he puts some ice in a glass. "Twelve year old Balvenie one of my favourites." He says.

"I agree, the sixteen is sweeter, but this is more drinkable." I say. He smiles and his jaw opens a bit in shock. "Is there a stage?" I ask as I look around. Most of the people are further in the bar looking to the right, there is a wall where I assume the band will start soon.