Dear Y/n Murphy: Evan H. x Reader

Chapter Two

As I tell Connor about what happened, his smile grows wider. "Good job, Y/n! That's amazing! I'm proud of you!"

"I'm so happy!!" I squeal.

Wait. Oh no. "What if something happens?"

"What?" Connor asks, tilting his head.

"What if something goes wrong? What if I accidentally try to kiss him? What if he sees one of my stupid letters to myself? My room's a mess, he's totally gonna judge me. What if he thinks I'm too weird? What if—"

"Y/n, chill." Connor laughs. "No what ifs. You'll be fine. He obviously thinks you're cute, just tidy up a bit."

"I don't know, what if—"

"Y/n." Jared groans. "Just as long as he wears a condom, nothing should go wrong."

My face catches fire immediately as I turn and glare at Jared. Both Connor and Jared just crack up. "You guys are no help."

"I'm just telling you that you should test the waters a bit." Jared shrugs between laughs.

"Not like that!" I say.

"You're right, Y/n. You should take a skinny dip in the waters." Connor breathes.

"No! Definitely not like that!" The two boys laugh even harder.

"God, I really shouldn't come to you guys for advice anymore." I grumble, crossing my arms.

"Sorry, Y/n. It's just so easy to tease you." Jared says.

I glare at them. "No, but seriously, take a chance. You proved that you can." Connor says after calming down.

"Fine. I'll try." I say.

But saying it is way easier than actually doing it. Especially when you're me. I sigh as I sit beside Connor and Jared. I grab my Sunbutter and Jelly sandwich, finding that it's squished from the fall.

"I'm gonna go to the Computer Lab." I mumble, stuffing my sandwich back into my backpack. "I need to finish a project, anyways."

Jared is too busy typing on his laptop to notice or care as Connor nods. "See you later, Y/n."

I hum quietly, heading for the said room. I enter the room, taking a seat at a computer. I open my letter, erasing everything. I breathe out a sigh.

Dear Y/n Murphy,

Nobody else understands me. What's worse is, nobody else wants to try. You're the best friend I have.

Or, let's face it: the only friend I have. It's just you and me here, so let's be honest with ourselves. Because why not, right?

Mom didn't want me. Dad didn't want to stay. Mom got stuck with me. Mom had to deal with me. Dad got to start over. Why didn't we get to start over? Nobody let us start over. Why does nobody ever let you start over? Why can't I start over? I want to start over so badly, I want to be somebody new, but I look in the mirror and, big surprise, it's still the same old me.

Everybody else has a family. I just have parents. Everybody else has a home. I just have a house. A lonely little house, with a tiny little bed, and carpets that smelled weird since the day we moved in. Everybody else has dreams. I just have setbacks. Everybody else has a network. I just have Facebook. Everybody else has connection. I just have collisions.