Dear Y/n Murphy: Evan H. x Reader

Chapter Seven

I haven't seen Alana since she yelled at me. And what's worse, is that I haven't seen Evan either. He sent me a quick text saying there was a family issue, but when I texted back, there was no response. I tried calling, but it went straight to voicemail.

Without word from Evan, panic struck my heart. What if Alana told Evan something? Like how messed up I am? Or that I used her to get to Evan? What if Alana told Evan about my stupid therapy letters?

Evan probably thinks I'm insane. He probably hates me, and now he's avoiding me. They're probably having a family meeting about how fucked up I am. They're probably getting a restraining order against me.

The paranoia eats away at me throughout the day. During fifth period, my teacher gets a phone call. The class falls silent, wondering who's in trouble. Oh no, what if it's me? The teacher scans the room before her eyes fall on me. I shrink in my seat as everyone turns to stare at me. "The principal wants you in his office, Y/n."

I nod and stand up, bumping into my chair. I wince and hurry out of the classroom. This is it. I am doomed. I'm going to jail. Why? I don't know. I walk to the office, pausing in front of the door. I take a shaky breath and enter. "The principal c-called for me." I tell the lady behind the front desk.

"Y/n Murphy?" She asks.

"Yes." I nod nervously.

"Go ahead to the right."

I nod and walk to the principal's office, finding that two adults await me. I stare at them, the two looking up at me. I swallow nervously. "Is the uh, principal here?"

"He went out for a bit. Said he had to deal with a kid." The man speaks dully.

"God, we should introduce ourselves." The woman says sheepishly."We're Heidi and Mark Hansen... Alana's parents."

My stomach drops as she extends her hand. I stare at her, my eyes widening. She drops her hand. "Oh, sweetie, it's ok. I know you're shocked.. we were— we still are— surprised.. to say the least, when we found out."

"Found out..?" I ask, my mouth dry.

"You haven't heard?" She asks with wide eyes.

"Heard..." I trail off.

She looks down as Mark frowns. "Go ahead, honey."

"I'm going as fast as I can!" She snaps back, tears in her eyes.

She looks softly at me. "Alana... She... she's gone."

Gone. Gone? Alana's gone? "Gone... gone as in...?" I pause, looking up.

Heidi covers her mouth with her hand. "Yes, she... she's gone."

Her words are heartbreakingly raw. "We checked her emails and saw that one was to you.. about her..." She chokes back a sob. "Her feelings.."

"What?" I ask. What email?

"It was something like this... 'Dear Y/n Murphy, Today is not going to be a good day at all. It never will be. Every day...'"

I let the rest of the email fade into the background. I already know every word by heart. I'm the one who wrote the damn thing. They saw my email? How? I... "The email... C-can I see it?" I ask.

"Yes, I printed it out." She says shakily.

She gives it to me, watching as I read it with trembling hands. I stare at it, my jaw threatening to drop. It says in the top left corner: to Alana Beck, from Y/n Murphy. I sent it to Alana?

"I-It says—"

"I know, honey.. I've read it multiple times.." She says softly.

No. It was from me. Can't they see that? Don't they know? I open my mouth to speak, but it's Mark who cuts me off. "It's ok, Y/n. We know this is unexpected news. We never knew Alana would..."

"No, she didn't— I—" I stutter. "I wrote it—"

"Oh, sweetheart, you're just in shock.." She says. "You didn't write this, Alana did. It says it's specifically to you. This is her s-suicide note.. you didn't write it."

I stare at her, desperately trying to speak. But nothing works. "Alana's funeral is on Saturday, we would love for you to come." Mark hands me a card with the address, giving me a solemn nod.

I only nod, my gaze dropping. "Thank you so much, Y/n." Heidi smiles. "It would mean the world for you to be there."

I nod again. "Well, you can go back to class, I'm sure you have more important things to do. See you Saturday."

I nod more, unable to say anything. I walk back to class, the bell ringing before I can go back. I go to my next class instead, my thoughts scrambled. Alana's dead?