Because I had you

Chapter Three

Few hours after.

His piercing blue eyes looked into mine as his hand interlinked with mine.

I looked at him with a smile on my face. "I forgot how amazing you were."

He let out a chuckle and looked at me. "I forgot the same thing, I missed this to be honest."

I turned on my side and looked at him. "I missed this too."

"Why did we stop it?"Kevin asked as he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Because you got with Ciara."I replied as I looked down at his chest. "You chose her over me."

"I'm not going to do this when you are with someone."I said as I looked at him with a frustrated look on my face. "You can't expect me to!"

"Why?!"Kevin said as he looked at me. "It's just a few dates between us, it won't be serious! I'm only doing this to keep Hazard happy!"

"And that's such a fucking great reason isn't it?"I yelled as I threw my arms in the air. "That isn't fair on Ciara because she actually thinks you like her!"

"I do! But if liking her means losing this then I'm not going to."

"Well that's a waste of time along with this is a waste of time!"I said as I threw a cushion at him. "All of this is a waste of time."

"You don't mean that, you actually enjoyed it and had fun."

"Yeah I did but fun comes to an end."

"How?"

"You don't get it, you don't understand. You are getting into a relationship, we can't keep on doing this."I explained as I let out a sigh."It isn't fair on her and I've just gone into society hot water anyway; they always say women referee falls for the footballers and chiz like that. I have truly fell for that, I can't carry this on nor can you."

"That's it?"

I nodded. "Yeah De Bruyune, it's the end of this."

I blinked and looked at him, my hand departed from his as I sat up on the bed. "You need to leave."

"What?"

"You need to leave."

"What the hell is wrong with you Lana today?"

"You need to leave please."

I quickly scurried off the bed and walked into the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror with tears streamed down my face.

All of this is happening again.

I didn't keep my promise to myself did I?

The one thing.

The one thing.

But what did I do? I went back to it didn't I?

Why do we always go back to the things that hurt us the most?

Memories invading my thoughts, my thoughts no longer what they were.

"It was only for the sex anyway."Kevin De Bruyune whispered then walked out of the door.

It was like my heart was shattered to pieces.

Maybe this was all my fault.

Him. I shouldn't of let him in, even though how much I liked him. I shouldn't of.

But then I shouldn't of let Sane in, I shouldn't of let him anyway near my heart.

I allowed it. I allowed everything to be what it made me now.

A knock appeared on the bathroom door. He let out a cough then spoke. "Lana, are you okay? Come on tell me what's wrong?"

"Please leave kev."

"No I'm not going to, I'm not leaving you in this state."

"This isn't the place for y-you too."

"I'm just going to open the door anyway."

Then he opened the door, he looked at me as I wrapped myself into my robe.

"Lana?"

"K-Kev, you need to leave."

"No. Tell me what's wrong."

"This is! All of this is! I'm not going to do this anymore. There's too much people that we've hurt."I said as I looked at him, my eyes brimmed with more tears as the rest of them were streaming down my face. "We end this for good, it's the last goodbye."

"Lana...You don't mean that."

"I do! I was just a side thing for you, I was stupid to think that we could be something."

"Lana, we still can."

"No. We can't."

"Yes we can."

"No we can't because it's too much, I'll never love again and I'll be taking the next offer that comes for me."

"What?"

"It's over."

"You aren't going to leave because of me."

"That's the thing, it isn't just about you, it's other things and I can't live like this."

"Do you mean this?"

I nodded. "It's over, I want you to stay away from me."

He nodded then the next thing I heard was the door.

I fell to the floor, the endless tears streamed down my face as I curled into a ball.

I brought this on myself.

"I would of broke my heart in two, trying to save a part of you. I don't want to feel another touch or another kiss, another name falling off my lips. Or to even give my heart away or another day to begin without you."I said as tears streamed down my face along with my hands began to shake. "I never thought I would find myself like this, in your arms. But you've gone because you've made your choice and it wasn't me like always."