Consumed || Shawn Mendes ||

Chasing My Dreams

My only wish ever was to travel the world. All I ever aimed for in life was to be great; to get past this lifestyle I grew accustomed to. Everyday I wrote in my journal, promising... that one day I would get on that plane. That I would never look back. I would start living my life on my own terms where no one would hold me back, I deserved that much.

Life hasn't always been kind to me, but I was determined to change those odds. I worked tirelessly at two different jobs to turn my dream into a reality. Finally, I did it. I was getting on the plane tonight and never looking back. I was going to Paris with my one way ticket and passport in hand.

I looked at the now empty apartment that once shared all my memories and moments. I closed my eyes to fight back tears and had an odd sense of release of the last nine years. Sharing moments with my mother; laughs echoing the then newly, white painted empty living room. The music that echoed in the years and the last holidays I shared with my mom; let go for the time being. From her once silent cries to the emptiness that took over after her mother passed five years prior to the current day. There was a sudden change that took over the apartment once she was left alone. No longer was there laughter, but just a gloomy living room that was dimly lit over dark curtains. A room she barely ever went visited anymore.

I opened my eyes and wiped the tears that slipped as I said my last goodbye. I closed the door and planned on never looking back. I put my headphones on, put my music on shuffle and Roses by Shawn Mendes started to play. I wiped the last of my remaining tears and stepped outside into the cool spring like air as it hit my chest. I looked around and put one step in front of the other, just like I had done for the millionth time. I'll remember the way towards the same A train I rode everyday to work. I allowed the music to clear my head and thoughts to what would be the soundtrack of my new life. A new beginning you could say. My soul was ready be free and my liver was ready to suffer. I was not planning to allow anything to hold me back... not anymore.