Undying Echo {1}

39 | Me and Him

Instead of flowers, Ethan and I sit on the ground in front of her grave with a take-out box from the nearest bakery.

The heavenly aroma of blueberry muffins wafts up to my nose when I open the box. I offer it to Ethan and he takes a muffin. Then I place one on the edge of Mom's grave then, and pick up the last one, putting the box aside.

We eat in silence, my eyes roaming over her gravestone. This's my first time seeing it. It's not huge, nor is it small. It's a simply designed stone with her name, description, and an engraved flower at the bottom.

Catherine Lily Adams. A loved wife and a loving mother. May her beautiful soul rest in peace.

I watch Ethan as he wanders around the cemetery, hands in his pocket as he looks over gravestones, giving me my space. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. Talk to her grave like in the movies? I don't know if she can hear me, or see me. And if she could hear me, I don't know what to say.

I return my gaze to her name and start simple. "I'm sorry I'm late, Mom."

It does nothing to ease my guilt of not visiting her sooner. "But I'm here now, and I'm going to be here a lot from now on." I pause, take a breath. "It's true that I know so little of you, just like you only knew little of me, but I'm here to tell you all that you missed. All that Dad and I wished you to be there for."

"I... We moved a lot after you left us. It wasn't easy, with changing school constantly. Dad did- he's doing everything he can for me, and I'm grateful for everything he did. I wish you were here, too. But despite what people might think with you gone, I'm not alone. I never was."

"I also have someone now," I smile softly, thinking of Ethan. "He's wonderful, caring," I look over at him as he crouches down to squint at a gravestone, "and I love him like I never loved before. It's kind of scary, how much you could love someone."

"And I have friends. Kaylee is my closest one," I grin, thinking of her, "she's somewhat crazy, a little dramatic, and she's the most caring person I know. Her brother, Ryan, is also a little crazy, like her. But I feel like they're the sister and brother I've never had."

"There's also Corey. He's Ethan's friend- Ethan's my boyfriend. I don't understand Corey. He can come off as a huge flirt. But he's a good friend and a good guy. His sister, though, I don't know about her. I think... that if I got to know her better, that we might have become friends. At least I hope so."

I inhale a deep breath, the words flowing more easily now. "Anyway, I graduated from high school a couple months ago, I'm thinking college is what's next, but first Ethan and I are taking a semester off. I don't know what I want. But lately, I've been thinking that I want to help people. I even started practicing on being a sign language interpreter." I say, thinking of the dark-haired wide-eyed bright little girl I met a week ago. "I'm working with an eight-year-old girl now, her name is Casey, and she's a sweet little thing, more open. Unlike Ethan when he was all doom and gloom." I chuckle. "I guess that's what happens when you're a teenager. I just hope Casey stays as bright when she grows up."

I remember telling Ethan the same thing after I met Casey for the first time. And what he told me after.

"It's not her, it's you. You are what makes people open up. You remind them of the little things that make them want to live again."