MARAHUYO

M- 32

Isaiah 43:18
Forget what happened in the past and do not dwell on events from long ago.

*

LEA

Today marks the closing of one of the broadway shows I love – Once On This Island. I stayed in New York for three months to do the show and to take part of the Goddess of Love, Erzulie.

Vice had to laugh his ass off the moment I told him the role I'd play so as Lani.

"Seryoso? Goddess of Love?" he asked in disbelief.

Lani chuckled, "Hindi na ba talaga mag-babago isip nila? You can play Papa Ge."

I rolled my eyes at them and sat beside Dawn who was just listening to us, "D, huwag ka ngang tumahimik lang diyan. Ipagtanggol mo ako."

"Huwag niyong anuhin. Baka magic-in kayo."

"Wow," I sighed, "Very helpful. Salamat, ah."

Dawn giggled and replied, "You're welcome."

"Goddess of Love tapos hiwalay sa asawa?"

"Baka naman ibalibag ka lang niyang character mo?"

I glared at Vice, "Why do you keep on saying "hiwalay"?"

"Bakit? Hindi ba kayo hiwalay?" Vice asked as he sipped his coffee, "Hiwalay na literal."

"Oo nga, Lea," Regine, who just came from the kitchen butted in, "Hindi mo pa nababanggit sa amin kung bakit ganyan ang naging desisyon ninyo ng asawa mo. Bago ka nga umalis pa-New York, kwentuhan mo kami."

We both realized that if we stay together in one room without talking, without uttering even one word, without doing what normal couples do, it wouldn't heal the wounds we both have rather it would just worsen them.

It was my decision to let Aga go – by letting go, I mean, umalis muna siya sa bahay para mag-hiwalay kaming dalawa. Siguro kapag magkahiwalay kami, pareho kaming magkakaroon ng time para makapag-isip.

Gusto ko naman siya talagang mag-stay, eh. Siyempre, kahit sino naman, hindi nila hahayaang malayo sila sa asawa nila. Pero hindi ko na rin kasi kaya. If we keep on hurting each other, kahit kailan, we will never be okay.

My mom was surprised when we told her our decision. Sabi niya, hindi naman daw namin kailangang mag-hiwalay. Kung talagang gusto naming magka-ayos kami, what we should do is to talk about the problem. Hindi mareresolve ng isang problema ang isa pang problema.

We've tried talking about it. But his words just stabbed me and mine just scratched his ego. Hindi kami pwedeng mag-sama kung pareho kaming gano'n. Kasi sasabog kami.

I was crying when he was fixing his clothes. Pinanunuod ko lang siyang ayusin 'yong mga gamit niya. Normally, kapag may business trips o kaya taping, tutulungan ko pa siyang mag-ayos. Siyempre, iba 'yon. May kasiguraduhang babalik siya.

But tonight, hindi ko alam kung kailan siya babalik o kung gusto pa ba niyang bumalik pagkatapos ng lahat. He doesn't give me an assurance.

I wiped the tears falling down my cheeks and heaved a deep sigh. Dumadaan siya sa harap ko pero hindi nagtatama ang mga mata namin.

When he was done fixing all his stuff and is ready to go, he looked at me. The look lasted for about a minute before I immediately ran to him to give him a hug. I cried even harder. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ko siya ulit mayayakap nang ganito o kung mayayakap ko pa ba siya ulit.