here's a letter from me to you. // jenlisa.

V

About our other members. In the end, they finally knew.

I told Chaeng first about it, because I didn’t want to risk Jisoo-unnie telling you. Despite the fact that Chaeng was a religious person and she was quiet for two whole minutes after I told her that, she finally decided that our friendship was too precious for her to risk just because she had problems with how I was feeling.

Then I told Jisoo-unnie when she confronted me (because Jisoos sees everything). She had hinted that it would be fine with her whomever that I liked and she would always support me. My doubts vanished after that.

They had been there for me through all your moods. Through all the times you were sweet to me in front of the camera and the times you dumped me like a toy behind it. They were there when I had to cry the whole night just because I was so in love with you and it hurt.

You never knew that. You didn’t know that I had been holding on to this feeling. I had been a coward for months, and it took me a few weeks later to stop being one.

I didn’t know whether being a coward was worse than being broken permanently.