here's a letter from me to you. // jenlisa.

VI

It was months before our comeback. We were so busy with recording and filming music videos and planning for promotions and stuff. To put it simply, it was hell. Our fans made everything better of course. Seeing their elated faces when they saw us was refreshing, and it was a gratifying feeling to know that we could help make someone’s day better.

(If you’re a BLINK, and you’re seeing this, I hope you know that we love you and that we wouldn’t have been here if it weren’t for you. We just love you so much)

We were exhausted after hours inside the training room. As soon as we reached the dorm, Jisoo-unnie and Chaeng immediately headed to their rooms and closed the door with a click of the lock signaling that they were not to be disturbed until further notice.

You and I both were exhausted as well, but I was also restless for no apparent reason. You headed straight to the kitchen to get your sparkling water from the fridge then you joined me on the couch facing the TV.

“Can’t sleep?” you asked me then.

“Yeah, Unnie,” I answered.

We were both sitting in front of the TV on the largest couch there, but we were basically almost arm to arm. Lately, when we were not in front of the camera, I had been feeling this tension between us; like we both wanted to be close to each other, but couldn’t find an apparent reason as to why we should.

It was just a feeling though, and I had no proof that it was ever real.

A while later, you finished your bottle of sparkling water and told me that you were going to head back to sleep. There was a tone of disappointment in your voice that I could distinct out of the layers of other tones you had put.

At the time, I didn’t know why.

Jisoo-unnie and Chaeng had been pestering me more than ever to confess lately. We finally knew about ‘JenLisa Day’ on the 23rd earlier this year. That day I finally saw just how many people actually would actually support us together.

All these time I was afraid to tell you because I was afraid of what Jisoo-unnie and Chaeng and the rest of the world would feel about us (I knew my parents would be okay with it because I had breached the subject with them before), but Jisoo-unnie and Chaeng already knew and there would also be a lot of people supporting us amongst our fans.

Everyone that mattered to us was finally accounted for, and I guess it just hit me so hard that night.

(I blame it on the exhaustion)

And that tone you used before made me believe that somehow—just somehow—maybe you felt the same way too.

So I got up off my seat and headed to your door.
 
Three knocks on your door later, you finally opened your door as if you had expected it to come.

“Yes?” you said.

“Is it okay if I come in?” I looked you in the eye.

You opened the door slightly, nodding. “Sure.”

Your room was exactly as it had always been. Impeccably clean but disordered all at the same time. Everything was exactly where they should be, but they were placed carelessly creating a sense of familiarity within room.

To make it simple, if you had stepped a foot in Jennie Kim’s room, you would know immediately just what kind of person she was.

The door closed behind me as I took a seat on the edge of the bed facing you.

“What is it about? Are you having nightmares again?” you asked.

I used to have nightmares when we first debuted. The amount of stress and hatred proved to be too much for me to bear. I used to come to yours or the others’ room at night to sleep. Turned out I found comfort in companions.

You didn’t know those nightmares never stopped coming. I just stopped occasionally coming to your room.

“No,” I smiled at you hoping to ease your worried mind.

“Unnie, I want to tell you something…” I started. I could practically hear my heart thumping in my ears. My hands were raining sweats and I was trying so hard not to dart my eyes anywhere else nervously.

“What is it?” you said. “You're not sick, are you? You've been looking awfully pale lately.”

“No, of course not!” I protested. That was so off point by the way.

“So what is it? Do you like somebody?”

My head snapped so fast I almost heard it. “How do you know?”

I thought I saw hurt flashed in your eyes before it was gone in a blink. “Well what else would keep you from sleeping at night, after a very tiring day for that, and make you knock on your favorite Unnie's door on the same night?” you said coyly making me chuckle along.

“You're right,” I told you sighing. “I like somebody.”

Well like could barely do it any justice, but whatever.

“I like you, Unnie,” I finally confessed.

You were quiet.

I didn’t know what else to do but to fill the silence.

“I know that it might creep you out or something and I swear to god that I would keep my distance and get rid of this feelings if you tell me to. But I swear to god Unnie, if you would just give me a chance, you will see just how good I can treat you. That's all I'm asking from you. A chance. But if the prospect of-”

“Yes,” you interrupted me.

I snap my head to look up at you. “What?” I said.

“Yes, I'll give you a chance.” You smiled at me as if I was the most amusing thing you've ever seen.

Never in my whole life had I expected it to turn out like that, Jennie. I hope you know that. You really took me by surprise that night.

“You will?” I asked again making you giggle adorably.

“Yes, silly. Is it really that hard to believe that I would be willing to give you a chance?”

“Of course it is!” I exclaimed. “All this time, I've been afraid to tell you that I liked you, and what? You just said ‘yes’ as if you’d been waiting to say that word from a long time ago?”

My heart went on a rampant and tried to break free from the cages of my ribs when you moved forwards to then take my hands in yours.

“Well, I do have liked you for a long time, and if you had told me sooner you wouldn’t have to be afraid at all, would you?” you said shyly looking up at me.

I hadn’t known that you could just keep on loving somebody more and more every day. It was like an overgrowing cancer in my body that I just refused to get rid of because it hurt so good.

“I suppose,” I smiled.

“So, how long do I have to woo you until you finally decide to be my girlfriend?” I continued.

You pretended to be thinking before saying, “I think you’ve been wooing me long enough to have to wait any second more."