You're Blooming the Wrong Way

Chapter Four

"Do you understand, Lucy?" My classroom adviser queried as he tried to keep his calm. When I was summoned at the faculty room, I already had a vague idea why.

"I know that you've been through a lot, but you shouldn't use your brother as an excuse to flunk. If you fail to pass the upcoming exams, you will have to repeat this year." paliwanag niya, bakas ang pagkadismaya sa kanyang mukha.

Napakamot ako sa kilay ko. "I get it. I'll do my best."

The old man sighed in defeat, as if I were a hopeless case. Na kahit sinabi kong gagawin ko ang lahat sa abot ng aking makakaya, tila hindi siya naniniwala rito. Well, I can't blame him. Up until now, I caused nothing but trouble to the teachers.

Feeling despondent, I left the faculty room with a heavy heart. He was right. Despite the unfortunate events that transpired with my brother, I shouldn't use it as an excuse. Dapat mag-aral akong mabuti dahil alam kong iyon din ang gusto ni Lars na gawin ko.

"It's lonely to study without him." I whispered to myself.

For the past few months, I had no motivation to do anything. I just spent most of my time gawking at Lars and waiting for him to wake up. Sa totoo lang, alam kong ipinasa na lang ako ng iba kong guro dahil naaawa sila sa akin.

Well, I guess I can't use their sympathy forever. I have to move by myself. Kung hindi ako mag-aaral, babagsak ako. At kapag bumagsak ako, mananagot ako kay Lars. I don't want him to get angry at me, but what can I possibly do at a time like this? Alam ko sa sarili kong hindi ako matalino, at mas lalong hindi ako masipag.

I'm hopeless.

"What should I do?" I wondered as I inserted a coin to the vending machine. I need my daily dose of soda to clear my mind. Kailangan ko 'tong pag-isipan nang maigi. I have to think of strategies to save my failing grades.

The rooftop was off-limits to students, but who cares? It was the only place where I could enjoy the cold breeze of the wind. Sa tuwing problemado ako, dito ako pumupunta upang pakalmahin ang sarili ko. I really like this place.

Sumalampak ako sa sahig at pinagmasdan ko ang kulay asul na kalangitan. "Written exams, huh? I wonder who the fuck invented that shit. Patuloy na magdudusa ang mga susunod na henerasyon dahil sa kalokohan niya." inis kong bulong sa aking sarili.

I'm not a genius like my twin brother. Lars had the brains and the looks, while I was nothing but a brawny piece of shit. I don't excel on academics, but I'm quite talented on the athletic area, at least. Kung matalino si Lars, malakas ang katawan ko. Iyon ang malaking pagkakaiba naming dalawa.

For average people like me, it's hard to survive in school. I'm not saying that smart people have it easy; it's just that they have the advantage since they were gifted with super brain cells.

"Students are strictly prohibited to go in the rooftop." A familiar voice, so deep and so gentle, spoke from behind. It was none other than Hana. "Kanina pa kita hinahanap, Lucy. Nandito ka lang pala. Hindi ko naisip na hanapin ka rito dahil bawal ang mga estudyante rito."

I frowned. "Why are you here, then? Go away."

He smiled to me. Instead of leaving me alone, Hana imitated my position and slumped himself on the ground. Medyo nailang ako sa ginawa niyang paghiga sa tabi ko, pero hinayaan ko na lang siya. I don't know why, but Hana acts way too comfortable around me.

"Oh, the skies are so beautiful." He commented as he gazed upon the blue skies. "This is a good spot for lovers, Lucy. Imagine being here with the person you love, holding hands, staring lovingly at each other..." Once again, he indulged himself into his own fantasies. This guy, seriously.