You're Blooming the Wrong Way

Chapter Thirty-One

"I'm sorry for summoning you, Lucy! Were you busy?"

Haru looked apologetic upon convoking me to the park nearest to our subdivision. We have no classes today since it was Saturday, but he suddenly asked me out. To be honest, I was in no mood to go outside because the air was humid, an indication that the rest of the day will be hot. Pero matitiis ko ba si Haru? Syempre hindi.

I shrugged. "I was just playing chess with Lars."

That aside, I was also averse to stay at home, anyway. If I were to idle in my room, I will be granted free time to think; if I cogitate, I will end up reminiscing a certain memory, and that's the last thing I'd want. It's like my mind refuses to acknowledge what happened that day. Hindi parin ako makapaniwala sa mga nangyari.

Hana kissed me.

And I kissed him back, which makes me a cheater.

When I got home that night, I realized the intensity of my mistake. Cheating is the lowest form of disrespect towards someone, and it's always done intentionally. I have no excuses. I got caught in the moment with Hana. I could've pushed him away, but I didn't.

I cheated on Haru. That's the truth.

"Did you miss me, Lucy? Did you long for my touch? Did you feel lonely when we didn't meet for days?" Haru besieged as he linked his arms to mine. "Fufu~ It must've been tough for you. If I know, your heart aches every time you remember me." He joked.

A small smile crossed my lips. It's ironic because what he said is true. My heart does ache when I remember him, but it hurts for a different reason. Nasasaktan ako sa tuwing naaalala ko si Haru, na napakabuti niya sa akin, na minahal niya ako nang totoo... pero ito ang sinukli ko sa kanya. Nagawa ko parin siyang lokohin.

"Haru." I swallowed the lump on my throat. "I'm sorry."

It was just for a split second, but I saw the animosity in his eyes. However, his expression quickly changed into a gentle one when he saw how shaken I was. Haru gently embraced me in his arms.

"Are you saying sorry because you didn't contact me for days?" malumanay niyang tanong sa akin. "It's okay, Lucy. I love you, and nothing can change that. Even if you abandon me in the middle of a storm, I'd still die happy because I met you in the chaos." aniya.

My heart clenched at his words. Niyakap ko si Haru pabalik at ilang minuto kami nanatiling magkayakap habang dinadama ang mainit na simoy ng hangin. I despised myself for my own treachery. Haru didn't deserve any of this. He deserves the world.

"Is there anything you want to do? You're the boss today." tanong ko sa kagustuhang makabawi sa kanya. Bumungisngis naman si Haru.

"Really? You'll do anything I want?" He childishly queried.

Tumango naman ako.

"Love me, then." My lips parted at his request. "Even if it's just for today, make me feel loved, Lucy." My chest heaved when Haru caressed my cheek. Despite the half smile on his face, his eyes resembled a desolate home. "To be honest, I'm tired of begging for your affection. Sometimes I feel worthless when I'm with you."

I could only stare at him with bated breath. We stood there in silence, and only the sound of nearby cars was audible.

How did it come to this? I didn't expect this to happen. Aside from giving him a chance, I dated Haru with the intention of tossing aside my growing feelings for Hana. I never intended to cause him pain.

Where did I screw up?

Why did I end up hurting the person who loved me the most?

Gusto ko lang naman maging masaya, pero bakit ako nakasakit ng ibang tao? Hindi ba pwedeng sumaya nang walang kapalit?