Really? // Stenbrough

Chapter 5

Stan's PoV

Why the hell did I not think that Bill was going to be at Richie's cabin. Bill is obviously friends with them since he was sitting with them at lunch. I was stupid to think I could just show up and not expect Bill to be there. God I'm such an idiot.

"Stan wait up!" Richie yelled after me.

I had just basically ran away from his cabin after seeing Bill in there. This time, I did not slow down for him. Richie had to run to catch up with because I was walking so fast.

"Slow down."

I did not. But he finally caught up to me. He matched his pace so he was keeping up with me.

"What's wrong? What do you need?" He asked.

I shoved the letter into his hands. It was from my dad and I raced to Richie's cabin when a counselor had given it to me. I hadn't even opened it yet. I was too nervous.

"Oh shit." Richie said.

I glanced at him and he hadn't opened it yet either. He was just reading the front of the envelope.

"I didn't think he'd respond that fast."

"Me either." I mumbled.

"Why don't we stop fast walking and open it." Richie suggested.

"Nope. I don't want to open it. I'm too fucking anxious. I know for a fact that it says something mean and bad in there."

My hands were shaking so bad and I was breathing heavily. Why did I agree to this? What was the fucking purpose? I listened to a guy I barely know, a trash mouth who can't keep his mouth shut, to tell my dad I'm gay. The most homophobic person I know.

"Come on. It's your father. It can't be that bad."

I stopped at that.

"You don't know my father like I do. Sure, he seems nice when he is out and about the town. But it's hell where I live. I get home from school, I read the Torah till supper and then I do my homework. If I do one thing out of step, I get in trouble. If I don't live up to my fathers expectations I'm worthless. The only reason I came to this fucking camp is that it meant a whole summer away from my house and my father. I didn't plan on coming out to him, ever. I was going to suck it up and live with my life till college and then just leave. It's not like he'll miss me."

I was practically shouting at Richie. I was in his face and pointing my finger at him, in an accusing way. I was pissed now.

He backed away and out his hands up in surrender.

"Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't know. But that doesn't matter now. He knows your gay so just open the damn letter and see what he says." Richie said holding out the letter.

"Fine." I spat. I grabbed the letter and ripped it open.

Dear Stanley,

I'm glad I sent you to that camp, because you aren't coming home. I mean it. How could you do that to me. How could you do that to your family, your faith. I'm very disappointed in you Stanley. Yes, Stanley. I'm no longer calling you my son. My son would never betray me like this. My son would never be a homosexual. Good luck finding a home for a worthless fag like you.

Goodbye

"Told you." I mumbled.

I handed the piece of paper to Richie and instantly started to cry. I knew this was gonna happen but the reality of it, just hit me.

"Stan..." Richie started to say, but trailed off.

I shook my head.

"It-its Fine. I'm-I'm gonna go b-back to my cabin." I said, my voice cracking multiple times. I walked away.

"Wait Stan." Richie called.

I just shook my head and put my hand out. Signaling for him to stop and not follow me. I need to be alone.

I quickly ran back to my cabin and ran to the bathroom. I was already crying as I threw open the door to see Bill in there. Luckily, he was fully clothed.

"S-Sorry. I didn't know you were in here." I told him.

I turned around and walked out of the bathroom. I was going to leave but I felt a hand grab my arm. I stopped, not knowing what to do.

"What's wrong?" He asked. He was still holding my arm so, I pulled it away.

I can't tell him. He'll think I'm pathetic. I still can't believe my dad actually said that. It's not like I chose to be gay. It's just how I'm programmed, I like guys instead of girls. But he'll never see it that way.

"N-Nothing is wrong." I lied.

"Bullshit. It's obviously nothing if you're crying over it." Bill said sassily.

"No shit." I wiped my eyes and turned around. Bill seemed, concerned.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked.

I did. I really did. But I couldn't. My stupid fucking feelings and my stupid fucking mind. So what did I do?

"No." I said.

I walked over to my bed and sat down on it. I heard a door shut and I figured Bill left.
I felt a dip in my bed and looked up to see Bill sitting next to me. He had just closed the front door that I left opened.

I moved over in my bed so I was now sitting criss cross with my back against the headboard. Bill sat next to me but his legs were extended.

I so badly needed to cry but I tried to hold it in. I was really bad at it. I kept snorting and tears were tuning down my face. I wiped them away but more kept coming. 

"Let it out." Bill told me.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I let myself lay my head on his. I allowed all the tears to fall and Bill pulled me closer, my head was now in his chest.

I fell asleep after crying for awhile. I remember falling asleep with Bill holding me. And boy, did I like that.

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Little Stenbrough content.

Ha
Just kidding you'll get more.

It is a Stenbrough book after all.