Journey To Rabbit Hole

Part 45 ( Closer; Always... )

Forth's POV

" I hope you been thinking of me instead of other thing..."

His word keep ringing in my head. I shameless smile and blush every moments when i recall it. It make blush...well I can blushes too. But thanks no one can see it that time or now. I shook my head lightly. To the fact that he is the source of my smile forming.

I been staying there until he gone from my sight. I was behave like a teeneger that got confessed from his long time crush. With no different with what i am going through though. I feel his word like a confession right now. Damnn...i don't want to think to much. He teasing me until i dream of it even in daylight.

Oh God... If i may fall...i wanted to fall in glory. Damn much. I am keep on hoping. I never got tired on this journey, because i see the bright light every then.

The moments i feel like he let down his guards. I know he do it purposely. Damn my heart wanna jumped out. Feel like it wanna screaming ... ' hear me out...save me...'. Got no potion to it, he ravish all of it endlessly.

I know he needed some time. I am willingly waiting. To him and more... the secrets...the scars...the truth. How he allowed me to 'touch' it. To talk about. I was the part of his scars... that now i wanted to be part of his healing. But...i am tempting.

If i could. If i would... but i know it would be no longer just ' If '...

Murmuring a silent prayer...so i could. So i would stay....

To see him happy again. To see his beautiful smile again. His generous heart. His graciousness. All of his. He keep making me fall in love with every seconds. Every beats. I can hear the music been playing. A beautiful melody...down and down going with rhythm and soft flow it is. Like a wave hit the shore.

I may pause this moments and capture it instanly. I wanted to. Insanely i want to jump right into those moments. But knowing this very long journey...i ought to see that days again...shall i return and looking back for once in awhile...but with him. That is the only moments i would looking back.

I been thinking. I have decide... another step to be more closer....

***

Beam's POV

Did thing finally return as usual?. Quite sometime i been asking myself countless time. Did i take a very long time. It is my insecurities that make me keep building a wall?. It is what happened to me make i think more than twice?. Denying everything that make my heart skipped a beat.

Giving myself an answer...Because no one else can give it. I say... It will as the family matter. As the time ticking... I am at ease. About me and Forth... another step closer. I found it...

Today i composed a big smile on my faces. I can't afford to frowning. I guess my jaw was numb because i smile too much i think i can have a diabetes. Thinking about him. Thinking about us.

I still remember what Forth have said to me.

" Beam...i am proud of you. "

" You handle it well... i know thing was hard for you. But i glad you come out and open up to yourself. "

" Because i have all of you...you all give me a strength. Being open up to myself make me understand the other feeling. " This is how i replied him.

Thinking of so many moments...so many day. How he keep on waiting for me.

So this is how i feel. Like it still new... How he pulled me onto tight hug. Feeling his warm body that wrapped me perfectly. Feeling how his warm calm breaths on my neck when he snuggle me. Feeling the rhythm of his hearbeat when i lean closer to his chest. How it was never change it still the beating that i know very much. It still the warm that i know more than anyone. No doubt... it is always like that.