Journey To Rabbit Hole

Part 46 ( To be a ' good' man )

Beam's POV

It is been a week since me and Forth being together. Ours friends know about it now that we were back together. I am happier... i feel completed. He was like my the other half. The man that i love, that stole my heart and own my heart. That man is him, he is Forth, Jaturapoom Jamornhum. A man that Responsible for my heart.

Nothing lack with the love we got. I know myself fall for him even deeper than before. I can say it proudly that ours love getting stronger everyday. More stronger than before. May be because we have been through all the heart break and hurtness. That we both know how much it cost us. Now we stand on ours feet togethers. Not that we promise tomorrow always better than yesterday. I trust us. Trust ours love.

But... i feel lack...err...like i said. Our love is nothing lack... it just. Sigh. I hate to think this way to describe it, tsk.

It is just ours romance. It feel lack. I can feel his love to me. But...the way he treating me. Not that i don't like it. I like it of course. It just can he touch me more?. I mean he been too careful with me. I mean...i am not a girl. Why did he treat me like a girl. Sigh. I need more than only peck on my lip. I need more than kiss and hugs.

Like he been harder on himself for not to ravish me. Oh come on. Do i need to say it?. Ain't i showing it clearly to him that i want more of him? . Ours date never be at home. We having a dinner. He send me to home. Kisses in the car. Hugging n the car. It is only that. I mean... why can't he invite me home. Do i need to say it?. I mean... oh God.

Like today... we will having a dinner at Aunt's place. Well almost once a week we has eating here together with Aunt, Phi Mario. Sometime Pring and Phi Earth joining us too. But tonight is my turn to arrange our date. So we will have this dining table for two of us. Friday night with candle light dinner. I can plan it more well, and find another restaurant, if i want it that way. But i choose this place. I even can cook for us. But i choose to be here instead.

Not that i want to make my attentions were clear. I just hoping he know what i meant for. I meant more than only having dinner together. May be he could bring me back to his apartment latter. So i can cook for our dinner. At his new apartment. But...he never say it at all. Is that hard to say, ' Hey...Let's have ours date at my house...stay for the night. ' . See... It is just a simple sentence. I want to hear this word from him.

He moved in few days ago to his new apartment. To be blunt. I am waiting for him to invite me stay over at his new place. But yeah... I don't know where did my bold side gone. I used to be so bold that i do whatever i wish for. But look at me now...i always thinking twice. May be that is why he also being careful with me. But... i am hoping he can take a lead this time. Because i am just...i am shy to be the one that whose make a first move...i can't just attack him and pinned him on bed. As much as I wanted to do it... as much as I need him...i really need more of him. But, i just want him to make the first move. That is all. Lead us the way. And he is just being gentlemen, darn it my romance!.

Here i am, looking at him right in front of me. Taking me to the restaurant like he always did. I never get bored of him showing himself in front of the door of this house. Not that i want to admit it. But he should has realize that. I really want our date were on bed instead of dining table. But we need to eat and filling our empy stomach though. Well must easier if this was our own place and not a restaurant. Now i feel dumb all of sudden... should i move back to my old place?. So he can no longer being so polite with me?. Sigh again.

Forth smiling at me, oh i hate him be so innocent. Really?... i need a naughty beast inside him. I hate this side of him. " Let's go " I said to him. Oh...i still love him though.

He nods and we get down together. Walk on the hallway to the lift. He touch the button, a minutes later the lift slide open for us to get in. Here my mind thinking about our last romance. I Still remember we more than just once kissed inside the lift forgot about the cctv above us. Ours crazy romance, i miss it so much.