Serendipity╚ ᴍᴀsʜɪᴋʏᴜ ╝

Mutual

*JUNKYU'S 1st PERSON POV*

I toss and turn in my bed unable to sleep. Unhealthy houghts run through my head.

If I was dead I wouldn't have to endure this. Maybe physical pain can ease my emotional pain. I'm worthless.

I'm just some left overs of a show. The only reason why the main pd hasn't eliminated me is because of all the "fans" I gained from that same show. Unfortunately, my "fans" are pointless. I'm not allowed to have social media, so I don't know what they say about me. I don't get to see their "love." I get no fan mail. I'm not allowed to talk with anyone who's not a trainee.

Everyone is improving except me. People who are younger have more of a chance of debuting. I'm a wate if energy, space and money. I should just kms. I only have Yedam, but most of the time he doesn't even have time for me. If only someone was there for me...even if it was only one...it would change everything.

I shake my head side to side as if I'm shaking away these thoughts to an oblivion. My throat feels dry. I lick my lips and wince due to my busted lip. I'll just go grab something drink.

I carefully uncover myself, put on A tank top, some shorts, slide on my slippers and walk out the door making sure to be very silent so that I don't wake up Yedam. 

I tip toe my way to the kitchen, open the cupboard slowly and grab a cup. Then I close it once more and walk to the fridge to fill the cup with water. I begin to  zone out and forget that I'm pouring water into the cup. Before I know it the cup begins to over flow out and onto the floor. I snap back into reality and grab a hand towel to mop it up.

While I'm cleaning up my mess I hear the front door open. I check the time. 2:45am. Who could be awake this late? I sigh, but get up to see who it is.

"Hyunsuk?!" I whisper in disbelief. He smiles and walks over, almost tripping over himself. As soon as he's close to me, I realize that he reeks of alcohol.

"Why are you getting back this late?!" I question. He smiles and waves me off.

"Why are you awake this late?"

I flush, realizing he's also got a point. He takes a step closer.

"Somethings up...you're lip is busted...you have dried tears on your face..." he says, inspecting me.

I feel myself begin to turn a bright shade of scarlet. Hyunsuk's smile widens as he realizes that he's right.  Man...for a drunk Hyunsuk is still pretty alert.

"It's nothing" I mutter. He raises an eyebrow, but I shrug it off and instead grab his arm and put it over my shoulder as I begin to walk him to his room. I quietly open his door and set him in his bed. He's still smiling. I begin to turn back around to go back to my room but he grabs my wrist and gestures for me to sit. I sigh but do as he says.

He then starts to get in bed and take off his clothes, so I decide to survey his room. It's been a while since I had last been inside his room... since midam left. Everyone had known that the two had been secretly dating. And when Midam left...everything changed.

Hyunsuk distanced himself from Junkyu and the other A treasures. Seunghoon and Byounggon formed their own "duo" and isolated them selves from everyone. That didn't mean that they ignored everyone because they didn't. During training it was like the old days, they would talk with everyone and laugh...well everyone except me. It was just that after practice they wouldn't hang out with the others.. I don't know what happened to us. They just cut me out of their lives one day, and I'll never know why.

Doyoung never hung out with me I in the first place. Our interactions were just fan services. My only real friends were Yedamie, Hyunsukie, And Midam. But now it's only Yedam.

Midam left and took a part of Hyunsuk with him, leaving behind a broken and alcoholic version of the bright rapper and dancer I once knew.

"I know how you feel"

I looked over at Hyunsuk who'd broken the silence. "What?" I mumbled.

"I miss him and i don't want to be here anymore without him. I know you feel alone and unwanted, and I feel the same. I don't want to be here if I can't be with him." He tried to smile but I could see the tears swelling in his eyes. I scooted over next to him and gave him a weak smile.

"It's okay. I'm here" I whispered. He smiled, a tear sliding down his cheek and laid his head on my shoulder. We sit there for a while not saying anything. I can hear his breathing even out so I assume he's asleep.

I carefully get up from the bed and flip the light switch to off. As I'm about to walk out I hear his voice.

"Before you go...can you sing me a lullaby...like he used to?"

I nod and walk back over and begin singing him to sleep. I see his eyes slowly become lower and lower until they're closed. 'I should check to make sure he's asleep before I leave,' I tell myself. I bring my face close to his to check if his breathing is calm and eyes are closed or not.

Suddenly, his eyes open and his gaze becomes focused on my lips. I frozen and unsure of what to do. I feel him wrap his arms around my neck as he closes the distance between us.

At first his kiss is soft. This isn't right...but anyone's love is good enough for me...isn't it?
Then it slowly becomes more needy and lustful. He pulls me closer until I'm laying on the bed with him. He then begins to take control as he pins me down and trails down my neck and chest, leaving kisses the entire way there. This doesn't feel right. It's not me he wants it's Midam. He's just desperate.

I try to shove Hyunsuk off but I'm unable to and instead this seems to turn him on even more because he begins to replace the kisses with hickeys.

"Hyunsuk, stop," I try shoving him off but I'm too weak, "stop, please—" after a strong push I'm able to get him off me and I rush towards the door. As soon as I think im free I feel him grab my shoulders and bush me back. He grabs me,throws me back on the bed and rips off my tank top, continuing to leave dark purple marks on my body. I start crying and beg for him to stop but it's as if he's been completely taken over by the alcohol and lost. I hope some can heat my cries. I close my eyes, as if it might stop what's happening.

Then it stops. I open my eyes and see a flustered Yedam standing above Hyunsuk with a look of disgust splayed over his face. He sees that I've opened my eyes and gives me a worried look.

"How could you," Yedam mutters, shaking his head in disappointment at hyunsuk.

He then grabs my shirt off the floor, and reaches for my arm. He delicately take sit and pulls me with him to our room where he sits me in my bed.

He walks to his clothes drawer and pulls out an over sized hoodie for me to wear. He walks back over and hands it to me, watching me as I put it on. I look back him and smile. As if he already knew what was going to happen next he crawls over to beside me and hugs me. I cry in his arms silently.

"I can't do this anymore" I whisper. I feel Yedam stiffen under my touch.

"I'm here. Don't worry. I won't leave you, kyu. You're my best friend...I can't afford to let you go." He whispers back. Then we both cry. Neither making noise, only able to tell by the trembling of our bodies. After a while Yedam lays my head on the pillow and gets under the blankets as well.

His presence is comforting and makes it easier to let go. Slowly I begin to doze off into a world of black nothingness.

If only I could stay in that nothingness forever.

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Wassup Girlies 🤪🤠🤙🏻
Wow what an update am I right? ;)
Oof it was over 1.4k words...longest chapter yet. I was thinking of splitting it into two chapters but I that it might not have as much flow if I chose to do that. I didn't lol :) I hope you guys at least found this interesting. There will be some slight Mashikyu in the next chapter so please be patient :) I want this story to develop smoothly. Remember to ⬇️vote if you enjoyed :) thanks for reading<3