Relentless

Chapter 19

Jay

As school ends on a horrible Monday afternoon, I walk out of my Honors English class and see Ashton standing by the door.

"Hey." I greet him, surprised to see him standing there.

"Whoa! No hoodie today!" He says, noticing how I'm wearing a short sleeve shirt and shorts.

"California is hot. I'm not about to go around wearing a jacket every day."

We start to walk to my car when I hear him humming something familiar. I turn around and walk backwards to my car so I can face him.

"Whatcha humming?"

"Better Left Unsaid. It's a song my sister showed me."

I stop walking and feel my heart drop to my stomach. That's what he was doing the other day? Looking me up on the internet with his little sister? Oh no, this isn't good!

"Never heard of it." I say, trying to play it off.

"I can't stop thinking about that Genevieve chick. They don't even know what happened to her."

"I thought it was a car crash?"

"Some think it was a murder. They can't find her body. I was watching her perform and she looked like she belonged on stage. How could somebody be so cruel and sick as to end that?"

Cruel?

Sick?

"Sorry, it just gets me angry. I have to get home to Antonia, but, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." I say in a monotone voice.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I'll just text you later." I say, walking to my car normally and driving away.

He thinks I'm sick and cruel. I thought he liked me, that we might've had a chance. But, of course, something ruined it.

Daniel ruined it.

------

As I pace around my room, angry, distraught and confused, I feel my breathing pick up. All of the negative thoughts about myself come flooding into my brain again.

He hates me.

Ashton must hate me.

I hate me!

I've lost everything. My identity, my passion, my drive, my...

My artist's soul.

I grab my hair with my fists and let out my frustrations by screaming at the top of my lungs. Just as I finish, my phone rings.

"What?" I answer in a frustrated, high pitched yell.

"Hello to you too." Ashton replies. "Are you alright?"

"No!" I yell. "Do I fucking sound alright, Ashton?"

"Jay..."

"You obviously know I'm not alright. I'm a sick and cruel person, aren't I? That's what you called me. That's what everyone thinks of me."

"Whoa, hold up!"

"No, you're right. You were absolutely, one-hundred percent, correct. I'm a sick, cruel person who has grown to hate everything and take out my frustrations on everyone, hurting them and myself. I don't want to hurt anymore." I say, interrupting him. I hang up the phone hastily and grab my purse, throwing my book, headphones and phone inside. I run out of the house and take off down the street, running as fast as I can.